Happy

So what if it hurts me? So what if I break down? So what if the world just throws me off the edge, my feet run out of ground? I gotta find my place. I wanna hear my sound. Don't care about all the pain in front of me, I just trying to be...... Happy.

This pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

Denime XX Type 1st wash

So, after a super duper tiring day at Pulau Ubin running around, feeding insects, having red ants getting to know my whole body in an intimate way (and I getting to know their mandibles), almost stepping on a snake, and soaking up the blistering heat of the sun, I got soaked to the skin (thanks to Emy), and my jeans are super duper dirty. So it's into the washer with them! Very tired but had loads of fun!

Germs and Gibberish

So, I tried my hand at importing stuff from my COM 443 blog, Germs and Gibberish, over to my personal blog. So, all posts titled and tagged 'Germs and Gibberish' are my COM 443 thoughts. I realised that it may look very confusing and messy to the casual reader (not that I have many...) so just a heads up...

Reflection on COM 443

These are my reflections on the end of COM 443.

We all have grown. Too bad I can’t say the same about my hair. This is perhaps the most taxing and trying semester ever, and this is so bittersweet because on one hand, I am glad the crazy workload is finally over and done with. On the other hand, I really wish I had more time to get to know my fellow classmates, especially my CheckMaters. This is my last semester in school, and the end of this semester is especially significant for me as I will see people leaving, for Buffalo and for working life, for our own separate ways. But as we end this semester, I am proud to say that I may not have come to UB/SIM expecting much, but I am leaving with much more than what I expected.

I am proud of my team, just as each and every one of you are proud of yours. I am glad to be part of my group, because there was more laughter than tears, more smiles than frowns. Because we knew that we can’t win it all, but that didn’t stop us from trying our best. Because even after disappointment, we learnt to picked ourselves up. Because in the midst of overwhelming deadlines, we still managed to have fun. Because they are not just my teammates, but they are my friends.

It has been my pleasure, and privilege, to have worked with such a great bunch of people. I am not the easiest person to work with, but they managed to pull it off without killing me. It is humbling for me, to see the sacrifices and effort that each of us put in, trying our best despite lacking the know-how, contacts and experience that many other groups may have had.

This is the semester where most of us had our capacities stretched, and we had to juggle so many things that I am sure we will make excellent clowns. We worked our butts off for each and every assignment and while the judgment of our work is subjective, like any parent, no matter how ‘ugly’ our work is perceived to be, we still love it, both the end product and the process we went through to get to that end product.

I don’t really want to talk about we learnt, about work, about advertising principles and theories because honestly, 10, 20 years down the road, who will remember all these? And at the end of semester, who wants to be reminded about work? But 10, 20 years down the road, what we would remember is the camaraderie, the friendships. These are bonds made of sweat, blood and tears, forged through fire.

I want to appreciate the class at this point as well. Thank you all for being so supportive of each other, and united as a class. We revelled in each other’s success, and encouraged each other when one of us falls. We spurred each other on, to outdo each other on every single assignment. Yet at the same time, we never lost sight of our friendships and become too competitive.

So today, let’s celebrate, not the end of the semester, but celebrate the friends made throughout. Let’s celebrate, not the completion of just another module, but of an experience we all will cherish.

And watch Germs cry in front of the whole class (what a crybaby... :P), thanks to Mahfudz for the video.. >:)

Lesson learnt

I have learnt,
not to take things too seriously
because life is too short to be so uptight
I have learnt,
not to be so picky and anal about things,
because it only harms and never helps
I have learnt,
that what matters is
both the destination and the journey
I have learnt,
that no one man is an island
and that together, we are an army
I have learnt,
that I should appreciate more,
and judge less, much much less
I have learnt,
what profits a man to gain the whole word,
but to lose his own soul, and the people around
I have learnt,
that I should live in the moment,
cherish the past and look towards the future
I have learnt,
that we should live life striving for no regrets,
and let go of those things that we do regret
I have learnt,
that relationships are precious,
and I need to put in more effort to maintain them
I have learnt,
and you have taught me that.

Eternal 811 7th wash

the 811s were feeling a little loose and starting to smell a little funky so I tried my hand at handwashing them. Dunk them into a bucket with the clothes washing liquid, let them soak for a bit. Mummy then made me throw them into the washing machine 'cos I was messing up the place. Oh well, clean!

Germs and Gibberish: The final lap

As we approach the close of a hellish semester, it is always good to take a look back, and see how far we have come. First of all, to my fellow CheckMaters, the journey was tough, but you guys made it bearable, enjoyable even. Thanks for everything; the effort put into each and every project (Justin more so than anyone of us), the laughter, and more importantly, the friendship that each and every one of you have provided. Like what I said on my Facebook note, 'Thank you', these are bonds forged through fire and high water, and I wish for these bonds to always remain. Stay in touch!

So, a quick summary of how this semester went down. This whole experience brings to mind an analogy. While I was competitively training for the Army Half Marathon a couple of years back (I know I don't look like it now but I used to love running, until the Army Half Marathon...), strategy was paramount to the success of the team in such a gruelling race. Although I was part of Team B, the backup team, nevertheless I learnt a lot from that experience.

When planning the training schedule, one must make sure that training is a gradual process, slowly building up to the final goal. One cannot 'peak' too early, because that would mean that your form would be going downhill before the actual race and causing performance to drop. One cannot 'peak' too late; that would mean that the best race would not be ran during the actual race.

I feel that CheckMate has peaked too early; most of us are feeling burnt out and tired, and it is increasingly difficult to come up with ideas and execution with each assignment. This is the most evident in Assignment 5, where we did not perform as per normal. How 'fatal' that is stil remains to be seen.

Worn out.

At the same time, I can see other groups are also feeling the strain of the semester; like us, they perhaps peaked too early as well. However, I also see some groups raising their game just about now; this is their time, their peak. Only at the end of the semester would we know whether they peaked at the right time or too late.

However, with one more assignment to go, all is not lost for us. During the race, no matter whether you are at your best, or you missed your peak, there is something called 'hitting the wall'. That is the point when you feel you can't run anymore, and you feel like giving up. That is how we feel after Assignment 5. However, if one manages to push through this 'wall', they will experience what many term the 'second wind' or a 'runner's high' where one gets a fresh infusion of energy and strength, when one feels that anything is possible.

CheckMaters, I believe we are at that crucial point right now, and we only have to push ourselves just a little bit more, just grit our teeth and go forward, disregarding the past, and we will hit our 'second wind', our 'runners' high'. I don't want to end with a whimper, with a sense of defeat. I want to end with a bang, a bang that is befitting of the effort we put in so far. So, here's to our 'second wind', our 'runners' high'. Bring it on.

I am blessed

I am humbled.
I am grateful.
I am touched.
I am blessed.

The hardest thing

The hardest gift to give,
is one that is unrequited.
The hardest gift to keep,
is one that is likely to be rejected.
The hardest gift to receive,
is one that is undeserved.
The hardest gift to have,
is one that is the most beneficial.
The hardest gift to look at,
is the one that will never be noticed.
The hardest gift to hold,
is the one in your hands as you wait.
The hardest thing to do,
is to linger just outside your sight.
Am I even seen?

Germs and Gibberish: Soyjoy commercials

Here are a couple of TVCs for this brand of food bars (???) called Soyjoy. I thought that they were quite funny... on the first few views. Quite evidently, these bars are targeted at women. But still, I think the general population would get it. I think these are done by an agency in Singapore and I feel are some of the more creative TVCs seen on local TV.

This is the TVC that ran first, if I remember correctly.



Followed by this.

DHL rocks my socks

Yay! My package of Obenauf's Heavy Duty LP, and my new belt and wallet is here! DHL really rocks my socks. It took only 3 days to ship my stuff from USA to here! Over the weekend to boot! And the pricing is quite reasonable, especially when you consolidate shipment. Woohoo! And they try to deliver twice a day. I missed the morning delivery and they made another round to send my stuff to me at night. :D Thank you Borderlinx and DHL!

Germs and Gibberish: Creativity

Now, most of us who are in COM 443 would know creativity is very shy and elusive. One can take hours, or even days to think of something that barely resembles creativity. But when it comes, more often than not it comes in a flash, a flash of brilliance. That is why sometimes, I feel like kow-towing to people working as creatives. They have to come up with something fresh, engaging, interesting, tasteful and impactful day in and day out. As the saying goes, 'There are no longer any more original ideas.' I agree wholeheartedly, after trying to come up with creative ideas again and again for the past few weeks. However, I realised that sometimes, the most creative ideas are the most simple ideas. These websites have some interesting advertisements that made me go, 'Now, why didn't I think of that...' when I saw them. Also, quite a number of the advertisements are outdoor type advertising. Too bad Singapore is not really into outdoor advertising. Without further ado, enjoy: Here. And here.

New stuff

Woohoo! Finally, ordered a new belt and wallet from here. Supposedly they are excellent bang for buck. We shall see if that's true or not. I reckon it would take 2 weeks to get to Singapore. Photos and review when they arrive, and when I have the time...

Germs and Gibberish: 13/10/09 In times like this

Only in times of adversity does one see the depth of character, the fighting spirit, all the things that make us human and individuals.

Melodramatic, I know, but this is somewhat I am feeling right now. We talked about highs and lows while doing our print advertisement assignment in class today and so now, I will try to organize my thoughts into something coherent.

First of all, I can't say that I am all that pleased with the grade we received. While it doesn't really bother me much that we are close to or even at the bottom of the class this time round, I felt that we were somewhat more deserving of a better grade, all things considered.

While I do concede that our execution left much to be desired, with the blurry photo and the 'dirty' knife and the drip of 'disgusting' blood, I felt that given the restrictions that we had in terms of lighting, time restrictions, and the fear of imposing and asking too much of people who had a job to do other than posing for our pictures, we did a more than acceptable job. That said, I know nothing we say now could change our score, and honestly, that's not my main concern right now. I just feel that the grade did not reflect the painstaking effort that we all put into this advertisement.

I understand, however, that at the end of the day, execution is everything. Like what was mentioned in class by Professor Armstrong, some groups stuck to safer graphics and it paid dividends for them. We took a risk and it didn't pan out as well as we hoped it would. But all things considered, I am proud of the advertisement, it being not our initial creative concept and that we had to work with what we had. But still, a painful lesson here: Effort does not equal results.

Something that I am even more proud of, however, is the cohesiveness and camaraderie that I sense within our team. Working with this bunch of people, although things could get testy at times, I can say from the bottom of my heart that at the end of the day, there is unity. I daresay that we are one of the top, if not top, groups in terms of unity. And that's saying something.

One lesson learnt from this whole experience that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life is that we should not try to wear hats that are too big for our heads. Ideas, creative concepts, the big picture is all fine and dandy if we were God and had unlimited resources, but we aren't. Looking at the other teams' work, I realised that it's not about the effort, nor the creative concept, but it's about working with what you have, and within reasonable boundaries. That, perhaps, was the downfall of our team this time round; we bit off more than we could chew. As the mantra goes (this is supposedly my life's motto), 'Keep it simple, stupid.'

One thing that I have to apologise to my teammates publicly is that I feel that I have to shoulder a large portion of the blame for insisting that we go with our initial concept without developing a backup plan. In the end, this led to us scrambling and wasting precious time trying to fit a concept into our resources, instead of the other way around. If we had a backup plan, maybe our execution would have been better, much better.

So to my teammates out there, now that we are already midway through this module, if you have any dissenting opinions or comments, please feel free to speak out. In fact, you have to speak out. If not, we are handicapped for the lack of an opinion that has value. That said, as mature people working together, I hope that we all understand that dissent doesn't mean dislike, and that we can take criticisms and not have our relationships harmed.

Not this:

With all that said and done, I believe that this setback will be more of a stepping stone, rather than a tombstone for CheckMate. I feel fired up for the next assignment, and I can't wait to deliver a counterpunch the other teams after taking such a hit. Yes, it is on. You better be sure it is on. But as with any counterattack, it may not work out. But still, I am ready for a fight, and that's what I am going to give, and that's what the other teams are going to get. Figuratively of course. Or not.

Germs and Gibberish: 02/10/09 Simplicity

Today's class session for COM 443 has opened my eyes up to how subjective advertising can be, as expected of an art, or at the most an imprecise science. As the adage goes, 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' and in advertising, I couldn't agree more. For something, in this context advertising, to evoke a response from us, there has to come together multiple factors that will precisely touch something in us, be it an emotion or a nerve.

We learnt from the textbook that one of the first things that advertising has to do is to cut through all the tasteless clutter that is surrounding us in our everyday lives, like overly muscular men in bikini briefs posing to showcase his house (and more likely his 'masculinity'), to 'energy' drinks which basically give you a sugar rush trying to draw attention by attempting to be cheeky and naughty. Gee. But has advertising become mere attention seeking? I hope that the person who coined the phrase, 'All publicity is good publicity', be condemned to an eternity of watching a loop of attention seeking antics from people or organizations.

A saying goes, 'Simplicity is indeed often the sign of truth and the criterion for beauty.' Well said, well said indeed. I am pretty sure that this applies to advertising as well. All too often, we see advertising trying to do too much and in the end, the message that was supposed to be brought across is distorted or even lost in the sea of the so-called creativity. But often, in chasing after the holy grail of advertising, creativity, one forgets the basic foundational rule, simplicity.

However, simplicity doesn't mean boring, or conventional, or simplistic. Albert Einstein said that 'everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.' I find that we, as human, have a tendency to try to make things as complicated as we possibly can, perhaps to discourage other intelligent life forms from understanding us?

Leonardo da Vinci said that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, and words truer have never been spoken. I remember that in Professor Armstrong's media effects class, I was asked what was my life philosophy. Although it didn't come out right at that time and people found me weird, I stated that I try to live my life as simple as possible. I try to take a more utilitarian approach to life by trying to get things that are well made and lasting so that I can reduce clutter. I am by no means an ascetic; I am still tossed about by the tempestuous waves of fashion and trends.

But I try to keep things as simple as possible. And I hope that this philosophy will carry into the way I approach our COM 443 assignments. I acknowledge that I have a tendency to try to cram as much things as possible into a 'space' and that sometimes doesn't work out so well, perhaps due to this little thing called information overload.

Anyway, back to advertising. For me, what will really catch my attention, besides skimpily dressed beautiful women (I said catch my attention, I did not say for me to find it well done), and great layout, and graphics, and creative concept, is the copy. Of course, nice pictures and all those emotional, touchy feely stuff affects me too but the copy is the icing on the cake for me. The copy, essentially, is the wording of the advertisement. Being a word person, I appreciate the precise use of words to convey something, the elegant turn of phrase, the humorous word play, the clever build up and punchline, the unexpected phrasing. For me, the copy is the deal clincher, the knockout punch that seals the deal.

But to others, different components of advertisements would be what they look out for and to them, that is what makes a good advertisement. One man's meat could be another man's poison, so to each his/her own. You may find someone's idea of a great advertisement not to your liking, but remember, you are just one person. If the advertisement managed to get circulated around, there are definitely more than one person who liked it enough to risk finances on it. Either that or companies just have blind monkeys randomly tossing darts at proposals to decide which concept gets done next (Hey, blind monkeys need to eat too, no?).

With that, I leave you with hopefully, thoughts about advertising, and definitely, a picture of a cute monkey.

Germs and Gibberish: First post

The beginning and the end. The head and the tail. The jellybean and the unfortunate false tooth. All these represents what I am feeling (well, except the last one; had to draw your attention somehow, no?). I am into my first month of a new semester, and at the same time heading into the last two months of my undergraduate experience. Yes, in a little less than one-quarters of a year, I could potentially say goodbye to my carefree, footloose, wind-in-the-hair, prancing-about-in-a-field student life. Or I could further my studies.

This?

Or more of this?

No matter.

I am not here to talk about my future plans and goals and whatnot. I am here to record my experience in a very 'interesting' module that I am taking right now for the benefit of the rest of Mankind. And also to get a grade on this. That module is COM 443 - Advertising Principles and Techniques, facilitated by none other than Professor Bob Armstrong.

I have to say that everyone of us have heard stories, passed down from generation to generation (actually, just one or two batches before us) about this module, and the style that Professor Armstrong adopts (read: dog massacre-and-butcher-and-then-noisily-rip-apart-the-meat-and-eat dog). So, it is with the slightest bit of trepidation that we signed up for the class; some less willingly because they have to fulfil their communication module electives, while others more willingly because they are just masochistic.

I have a confession to make, that I was expecting my last semester here in UB/SIM to be at a more, how do I put it, relaxed pace. But now, being one-thirds of the way in, I can say that out of all the semesters I have been in the UB/SIM program, this semester is potentially the toughest semester I have taken.

And guess what? After a month taking this module, I hope that I am not jinxing it when I say that this experience hasn't been what we were expecting, mainly because it is worse. No, I jest. It has not been dog eat dog as of yet, more along the lines of dog bite dog. I just hope that we will start losing our teeth before we lose our limbs, vital organs or our heads. Honestly, with nary a hint of brown-nosing, I really think that this is an experience that I will treasure, not for the head knowledge gained. That would be forgotten in an instant. But rather, it will be treasured for the life lessons learnt, and the whole experience.

But, thus far, it has been a beneficial and eye-opening experience for me. One of Professor Armstrong's aims was to simulate the environment of the advertising industry as much as possible and already I have learnt something; that if the advertising industry were really like this, there is a 99.99999999% chance that I WILL NOT enter this industry. I value my life and sanity too much.

Nevertheless, there are many things that I've learnt that has nothing to do with advertising but useful life skills, which in my book is equally if not more important. First of all, I discovered that I have the stamina for working long, long hours without needing any coffee. But on a more serious note, contrary to my public self, I am not an extrovert. I don't find it easy to make friends and/or work with people I am not familiar with. I try to avoid foreign situations as much as possible, preferring to remain in my comfort zone. Not good for growth, I know, but good for people like me who enjoy emulating a turtle. So, I really think that COM 443 is causing me to wake up to the realities of life and understand that in life, I have to deal with uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations. And so far, I have realised that in actual fact, things are often not as bad as we imagine.

After randomly assigning us to groups, a wise man told us in the first few weeks of class, 'You don't have like everyone, but you have to work with them.' I already know that I am not the easiest person to work with, because sometimes I may be too demanding. But I think that I am not all that difficult to work with because I temper that abrasive side of me with my natural charisma and charm (which by the way, costs me $100 per person I choose to 'exercise' those qualities on). But this module has shown me that good teams are difficult to form and even more difficult to keep together.

Looking around, I thank my lucky stars that I am where I am right now. My team-mates are generally great to work with and I am enjoying their company. That said, there are still differences among us that we have to iron out but at the very least, we are all making the effort. And that is reason enough to move beyond merely working with my team-mates to liking them. I am grateful, in that regard, that we were randomly assigned to groups, because these are a bunch of people I feel that I can have friendships with and I do hope they feel the same about me. So, to my team-mates who may be reading, before I step on any of your toes even more, please know that it is nothing personal, it's just work.

Anyway, I really sympathize those who are good students unlucky enough to be assigned to groups with people whose attitudes seriously, for the lack of a better word, stink. It stinks so bad that even being in a different group from them, one can smell the reek. This sort of thing makes me realise that truly, it is one's attitude that determines one's altitude. How far can a person make it with a lousy attitude? Not far. Even if he or she starts at the top, he or she will not be able to stay long. People say that you win some and you lose some. While at times, winning and losing is dependent on one's self, this whole observation made me realise that no matter how much effort you put in, sometimes victory or failure rests on the shoulders of the people you are surrounded with. And really, at the end of the day, life sometimes can be unfair. But oh well, c'est la vie.

Looking at how much we have done thus far, and how much more we have ahead, I reckon that this module will be both more challenging and yet more fulfilling that most modules taken thus far. Somehow, it seems ironic to be taking a module that is so demanding in my final semester when I expected to be able to kick back and relax just a tiny bit. Also the same time, I do think that this is a befitting end as well to the whole UB/SIM experience; having an enriching and thought provoking module to gird myself up for the travails of life beyond school. I believe at the end of it all, I can look back and say that I came here, to UB/SIM, not expecting much but I leave with a lot.

Branded

If you sound like you know your stuff, you probably do right? So if you can rattle off brand names with the greatest of ease AND accurately to boot, you must be 'atas' right? I found this compilation of pronunciation guides to big brand names. Original post from forum here. All together now, Loo-ee Vui-tong...

If I had 140K...

If I had 140k lying around, I would get this:

My dream car... :P~

Or, if I wanted to keep some money, I would get a Scirocco... If only, if only...

Contradicting

Isn't it funny, that sometimes things appear to be opposite on the surface from what is in the inside? I have been doing some self reflection recently, and realised that that is rather the case with me.

Case in point, when I tell people that deep down, I am an introvert and they go, 'No way! You are an extrovert.' or something to that effect. But I am not. I think, I am only an extrovert when the situation calls for it, and recently, as I am growing older and older, I find less and less situations that calls for me to be extroverted, and guess what? I sort of like it this way.

Also, I do feel that I could get 'unfeeling' and 'emotionless' at times, that I may appear not to be sensitive to others. And this will definitely evoke surprise and disbelief in people but I do think that I am rather emotional and sensitive; it's just that I tend not to show that on the surface. If you don't believe, go read my 'poetry' (and that word is used ultra-loosely) and you will get the sense that I am some emo kid who can't wait to slit my wrists. Anyway, that aside, I would like to think of myself as a not-even-remotely-close-cold fish and also NOT delusional.

Also, I realised one thing about me is that I tend to diffuse uncomfortable (for me or others) situations by trying to create a lighter atmosphere by trying to be funny or making light of things. Shouldn't funny, or at least the attempt to be, be reserved for light hearted moments?While this may work in certain situations, I guess it has the tendency to get real old real fast in specific circumstances as well.

And if you want to know whether I like like a person or not, easy. The general rule of thumb is, the more uncomfortable Jeremy is around you, the more attractive you are in his eyes. When I can't meet your eye and become very fidgety, it's not because I am not interested; it's because you are too attractive to me and I can't look you in the eye and I don't know what to do with my body. That's perhaps why until now, I am single. :P That principle DOESN'T apply to friends, just for people with the potential for me to like like. ;)

Of course, there is much much more to it that these few areas but I am lazy to organize my thoughts. Bottom line is, I am a huge bag of contradictions and sometimes, it gets confusing for me, not to mention other people. I would like not to be so complex and confusing, but most of the time I can't help it.

Now this is what I call cool

Caught Up with Kev, Janis, Chong and Clemmie yesterday and it's an awesome show! Must watch! Heart warming and real funny. More than that, it gets you thinking about life. All that from a cartoon, or should I say animated movie... Whoever said that cartoons rot your brain?

But a movie trailer before Up really caught my attention.

And this movie is based on this short film by Shane Acker and it's ultra cool too!



Can't wait for 9 to be out! With Tim Burton as producer, I have high hopes for this movie as in my opinion, he is one of the few, if not the only, person that can do justice to dark films in animation. Go..... 9!

P.S. If you like weird stuff, you should check out the 'The World of Stainboy' series on YouTube, also by Tim Burton. And read about some of his characters here.

Take a hard look at yourself

Warning: Probably the most heart baring and offensive post I have ever written.

Well, sometimes it's good to take a hard look at yourself and think, 'What is really important? How am I like, really? How am I treating the people around me?' Well, I reckon that now is as good a time as any. Too many things on my chest that are weighing me down.

I would be the first to admit my faults and weaknesses and that I am not perfect, no, far from it. I know that I can get abrasive and downright bossy and irritating at times but who enjoys being like that, really? Not me. It may seem like I am perpetually like that but I would like to think not. Under certain circumstances.

I guess I can say this side of me only comes out during times of duress, and I hope that only then. It is not an excuse for bad behaviour though, this stress explanation. But you know what? At least I care. At least I try. I am not perfect but I try. And when you are trying, and you just get the sense that other people are not, who will not feel aggravated?

I understand that there is such a thing as self serving bias, that I think that my shortcomings are a cause of the environment while basically, other people are just messed up and don't care. I know that's not the case, that there are a million and one reasons for one's behaviours, and perhaps a million out of those million and one are from the environment and not intrinsic. I am sure I am wrong in 99% of the judgements that I form about people as well.

Like I said, I am the first to come out and say that sometimes I suck, sometimes I mess up, sometimes I screw up; perhaps too much and too often. But when taking a hard look at oneself and admitting all these things, perhaps I can suggest to others to take a look at themselves too. To my mind, to ask people to reflect, you first have to reflect on yourself to earn that right. Right? Probably not but who cares? I am going to say it anyway.

I offend people and step on their toes and make them cry and make them angry. But just because you don't offend people upfront doesn't mean that you are an angel. Just because people have fun around you doesn't mean that you are perfect. Just because you are popular doesn't mean that people can stand your ways all the time. Well, the real world is going to be a shocker if you think that way. Time to wake up and smell the roses, princess or prince, or duchess or duke, or queen or king. Whatever.

Anyway, right here, right now, I offer a chance, an opportunity for people to say that I suck, that I am irritating, assorted things that they don't like, they hate about me and whatnot. Whatever you want to comment, the tagboard is on the right and the comment function is at the bottom of this post. Put your name, be anonymous, whatever. Make it public, curse me in private, backstab me, front stab me, it's all up to you. I take it all.

Because I know that I am not perfect. I offend people upfront, people don't always have fun around me and I am not the most popular person in town. I am not easy to get along with and I am argumentative and aggressive. I abrade and I suck. I get angry and I show it. I get consumed with tasks and neglect relationships. I am insensitive and I am insecure. I don't have the people skills like some do. I often cross the line. I am a hypocrite and I am bossy. I push people too hard and too much and I am such a anal retentive perfectionist in some things. Yeah. I know. And to all the people I have sucked to, especially my friends in school and my family who have had to endure the worst of me, I apologise for my bad behavior but not the starting point I came from. I may have sucked to you, but at least I gave my all. I tried my best and I am sure you did too. You guys don't deserve it but I still rubbed you the wrong way and then some.

But, after all these things, can you take a hard look at yourself? I may be a loser, but I acknowledge that I am one. I don't think I am greater in any way, compared to other people but I do know this. That I try my best. I am absolutely not saying that you are one. I am 100% confident that you are not a loser, far from it. And this is not a justification or some holier than thou crap. Like seriously. Just that, sometimes, it takes two hands to clap, two to tango. And also, it is true, at least to me. You hurt the ones you love the most. You know where to get me if you need to.

Freaky

Well, had an exciting day today, or rather, yesterday. Well, at least toward the end of the day... After a gruelling 11+ hours at Will's house doing our PR project, we had a neutral party, Clemmie, saying that our video was 'okay' only... So much for blowing the other teams out of the water.

Headed to try out the famous Punggol Nasi Lemak (although I had tried it a couple of times before, chicken wing, sedap!) but it was closed!!!! After breathing down my hokkien noodles, Janis and I went to get a packet of durians!!!! Woohoo!!! After years of durian celibacy, I finally had the chance to try the famous Mao Shan Wang durian!!! Tasty, but jelak lah! When driving out, I went against the flow, so to speak... Oops!

But the highlight of the day was yet to come. On the way back, with Nurul and Janis in the car, we were just about the let Nurul off when the motorcycle right in front of us ran over a piece of wood that the construction site beside so inconsiderately left behind and skidded for a few meters! It was like so surreal, with sparks flying and the motorcyclist tumbling, arms and legs flailing all over the place. I avoided that lane, stopped by the side of the road to help the poor dude. He wasn't drunk but was shocked and supremely unlucky. He wasn't injured when I left him though. I had to remove the wood and even a heavy metal piece on the road before anyone else got hurt. A nice taxi uncle stopped to help the poor guy as well. Hope that he is fine, the motorcyclist I mean... Freaky.

In love with you

Ah... Brings back memories... =)

Would you?

Would you miss me if I were gone?
Would you think of me when they play that song?
Would you even know that I have left?
Would you even mourn my death?
Would you stay, if I asked you not to leave?
Would you need me to beg and say please?
Would you even cast a glance my way?
Would you speak to me, what would you say?
Would you even know that I exist?
Would you even get to read this?

Time to get in gear

As I am half sitting, half lying on my bed, I have this feeling that I need to get my fat butt back into gear and start working out more regularly. I feel and look fat and have been slacking off too much. To compound my laziness, I have been eating like nobody's business. So I have to eat right and exercise more starting right now. But I think I will start next week, next week sounds good...

P.S. I feel like that now, but without the mutant powers or whatnot. For those interested in who this is, click on the picture.

Dandelion Boy

There once lived a boy out in the fields,
alone by himself, out of everyone's view.
He was happy in the flowers, grass and trees,
running, skipping around, oh-so-very free.
One thing this boy was proud of, oh so proud of he was,
He had a dandelion head, he thought he was so boss.
His head covered in fluff, it was so full and thick,
He admired himself everyday, that was his schtick.
But one day came a wind, so strong and wild,
It blew off all his fluff, oh that poor, poor child.
His head which used to be so full now was quite bald,
In a twinkling of an eye, before he knew it, he lost it all.
This should teach you, a lesson should be learnt,
That it's not too good to be a dandelion, better to be a fern.

Today

Got my Eternal 811s back from Tet Tailors and I must say that they did a good job. The repairs look and feel good. Little patches of denim on the inside to prevent the holes from getting bigger and tearing apart. My mum says that it looks like my jeans got 'ta ko yok', meaning 'stick on medicated plasters'. Hahaha. Oh, and just dumped my PBJs into the bucket for a hot soak because they stretched out too much. Too fat I guess. Shrink shrink shrink! :)

Anyway, today was kind of a horrid day. I endured discomfort the whole day; headache, neckache, queasy stomach. At first I thought it was the Erdinger I had last night. I get headaches even with the littlest bit of alcohol, and I will flush red for like hours. But even the worst hangover don't last so long right? And I only had a tall glass/bottle! Boo to high alcohol sensitivity! Hahaha. Had fun with the people who were there though. :)

Kharmah the magical lizard

Kharmah was a baby lizard alone on the wall,
when suddenly with a great 'BOOM' he heard something fall.
He twisted his neck around to take a look,
what he saw next really made him spooked.
Wings on the back, a wand in a hand,
and in the other was a huge electric fan.
It was the Hairball Fairy, shaped like a cat,
how else would she appear, other than that.
So scared Kharmah was, his tail dropped right off,
'Oh dearie me, poor thing,' the Hairball Fairy coughed.
With a swish and a swash and pointing to Kharmah's head,
'To compensate you, I will give you magic!' the Hairball Fairy said.
Kharmah nearly fell off the wall, oh yes he almost did,
Because the Fairy pointed the electric fan, a mistaken deed.
'Oh dearie me, I am sorry!' the Hairball Fairy squealed,
Pointing her wand and in him much magic she filled.
'You can turn invisible now,' the Hairball Fairy told Kharmah,
she happily instructed, 'Go home and tell your mama!'
She disappeared in a puff of smoke and a retching sound,
as though a hairball was being coughed out; huge, wet and round.
Kharmah could turn invisible and not be seen, not even a speck,
He could now grow fat as it is all better to sneak up on insects!
But when his tail drops off he cannot fade away,
only until his tail grows back, that very day.

Today

Good things come to those who wait. Yes, indeed. I was at Bugis MRT station (yes, MRT. Reducing my carbon footprint plus I got no money to pay for parking and ERP to drive into Bugis) waiting for the train to Joo Koon. I decided against taking the train that came along because it was P-A-C-K-E-D with people with more people trying to squeeze. And with a good book, I didn't mind waiting for the next train. Guess what? The next train came in 2 minutes and it was E-M-P-T-Y, devoid of human sardines. Hahaha! I managed to snag a seat and settled down to enjoy my book all the way to Boon Lay. Good things come to those who wait. :)

Anyway, sent my Eternal 811s to Tet Tailors at Peninsular Plaza Shopping Center to repair the holes and reinforce the thinning material at the bum area. Now, before you think 'So lousy quality your jeans, so expensive no use. Kena cheated!', remember that this pair of jeans has been through a lot of wear, and for 18 months of effective and CONTINUOUS wear, the material thinning and threads breaking only now can be considered quite good value for money. Anyway, the repair job cost $12! However, Tet Tailors are rather well known for their work on jeans and when I was there, there was this huge stack of jeans waiting to be altered or repaired. Let's see how good their workmanship is.

Bitter heart

This is such a nice song! Hahaha. And Zee Avi's voice is so, so, so... nice! Hahaha. She's got this old school tone going for her! Nice!

Eternal 811 6th wash

After walking around school for months on end, running around a few times, wiping my hands, walking Cyn's dog more than a few times, helping her move house, climbing trees at Sentosa at night and sitting in grease that makes me look like I poo-ed in my pants, I am finally sending my Eternal 811s for a wash. After which I have to send them for preemptive repairs to prevent the crotch area from blowing out. I could stick my finger into the holes that formed from close to 2 years of faithful service, not that I like to.

Foolish games

Timelessness

In today's world of modernization, mass production, consumerism, conspicious consumption, disposability and instant gratification, it seems like everything has lost its soul. Character in everything, from cars, to clothes, to crayons, seem to have lost their soul in the midst of profit making, efficiency and the rest of the hoohaa they call progress. Whatever happened to taking pride in your product, and artisanship and skilled labour?

Now, we have machines doing things, at a much faster rate but at what price? The price of character, of soul, and of craftsmanship. A quick comparison: How many objects can be considered a classic that is a product of modern times and how many objects can be considered a classic that came from a time long forgotten? The answer is obvious.

To leave a legacy, if one can figure out how to make something timeless, classic, eternal, with lasting appeal in these modern times, then one would have it made. Bring back the character, the soul, the feeling inherent in something that is timeless. Because, everyone, whether they acknowledge it or not, have a gnawing feeling deep deep down that our time is limited, that we are living on borrowed time, that we are born to die and all those other cliches. And with that feeling comes the desire for something eternal, something that will last and leave a legacy.

I like the slogan for Patek Phillipe, that you never actually own a Patek Phillipe, you merely take care of it for the next generation. Classic, timeless things are well designed for one. But mostly, it's because of the soul, the character, the craftsmanship, the pride taken and the lasting appeal that makes something a classic. Classics are seldom in fashion, but they never go out of style.

Come on get higher

This song is so in my head at the moment.

Literal video

Need I say more? :D oh wait, thanks Naz!

Spiderman wallet and handphone

I got a shock as I got out of my car today. Usually I put my handphone beside me when I am driving but today as I was getting out, I didn't see it there. I have a habit of not putting my handphone into my pockets so I happily assumed that I put my wallet and handphone into my bag. As I was opening the backdoor of my car to get my bag, I realised that prior to driving off from school, I had placed my handphone and wallet on top of the boot of my car and forgotten all about it! I realised then that my wallet and handphone have superhero powers, namely Spiderman as they did not move from the spot that I left them on despite going up and down slopes, swerving sharply, driving on the expressway at expressway speeds, taking turns faster than needed and going over humps rather fast. Oh man... I am getting so absent minded. What next? Walking out of the house naked? Eating 10 times a day because I can't remember whether I have eaten or not? Forgetting where I live? Leaving my first born on the plane?

Dust

Heart filled with rage and indignation, he raced to the riverbank, not knowing exactly why he is running there for. His legs seem to take on a life of their own. His mind raced as he skipped and ran along the riverbank, searching for something but he doesn't know what yet. He gripped even more tightly unto his staff, his faithful staff that has served him so long and so well. He gained a measure of comfort in its heft and its girth and length. His eyes scanned the riverbed as thousands upon thousands of eyes stared at him, some full of desperate hope, some full of scorn, some full of worry, some full of mockery.

There! A voice in him shouted. He stopped, skidding a little along the slippery stones of the riverbank as he stopped on a dime, panting slightly. It is gleaming slightly from the moisture of the river. He picked up the stone in his hand, feeling the weight and smoothness of the stone, buffed by the passage of time and running water. 'Heavy. No,' he corrected himself, 'substantial.' He searches for the brothers of this stone that will serve a similar purpose. As he selected the stones, he dropped them into his bag slung on his waist.

Walking away from the river, he feels doubt begin to infect him. 'What if I fail? This is ridiculous. I can't do this.' But as he made his way forward and stared at the hateful person before him, the doubt is replaced with a rising determination he has felt at least twice before. 'No way I am going to fail now.' he said to himself. He confronts his enemy, and has an exchange of words. 'Good,' he thinks, 'let him mock, let him laugh, let him scorn. It'll be the last thing he does.'

The time has come. The air grows still. Everything slows down. He feels the tension in the air and suddenly his body grows faint. 'No!' he screamed to himself. 'Go!' He forced his legs forward. One step. Another step. Soon, he is running towards the enemy. Strength surged in his body as he reached into his bag and selected the stone. The stone. Placing it into his sling, as he had done so many times before, he twirled it around his head. Once. Twice. Thrice.

'Now.' The stone whistled through the air and finds its mark. Never before has a truer shot been fired, and never again will a shot be as true. His enemy looks stunned, surprised and disbelieving as he crashes to the ground, his momentum carrying him forward and unto his face.

His heart pounding in his chest, he reaches the enemy. Out of breath, he refuses to stop for the fear that his enemy may rise. Gulping air, he reached for the enemy's weapon and unsheathed it. With a guttural growl, he puts his entire body into lifting the sword high enough to allow gravity to do his work for him, plunging the sword into the chest of his enemy. He feels a strange sense of satisfaction as he feels the sword cleaving through skin and muscle, grinding past bones to find its mark, the heart. A little resistance but he leans his body into the sword and something gives.

Adrenalin pulsing through his veins, he smells the coppery tang of blood, of death but also of life. Nothing seems to be moving yet. The whole world seems to have stopped revolving, awaiting his next move. He leans back, pulling out the sword which the body of his enemy surrenders with a shucking sound. Dragging the sword alongside his body, he comes to the head of his enemy. 'Good thing I can't see the face.' he says to himself with a wry half-smile and once again, raised the sword. With a cry of victory, he cleaves straight through the tendons, the muscles and the bones of the neck in one clean stroke. Panting from the exertion and the euphoria, he kicked off the helmet from the head and grabbing the hair, raised the head into the sky and closed his eyes.

Past his pounding heart, he hears a faint noise. From a faint murmur, it slowly builds up and he realises that it is a roar, a war cry. Opening his eyes, he sees a wave of bodies rushing towards him. Panicked for a moment, he turns away slightly from the crowd, wanting to run away. But the crowd is upon him. He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling slightly gratified that at least he managed to kill the destroyer. But he feels wind, the wind of people running full flight past him. He opens his eyes and sees the crowd he thought was the enemy run past him and give chase. 'My people.' he thought, with tears in his eyes. 'My people.' He watched as they gave chase to the enemy. Soon, he is left standing alone in a cloud of settling dust.

In the dust, with blood and sweat, a king is born.

2 of my favourite songs of all time...

HelloKerri

So, as a favour to a super duper sweet classmate of mine, I am going to post this here. Hey Kerri, this is the first unofficial advertisement on my blog, better appreciate it okay? Hahaha. Okay, for those into nice stuff to wear around your neck, wrists, on your ears and assorted body parts (girls only, but Kerri did say that guys stuff coming up, right Kerri? :P:P), check this out: http://shop.hellokerri.com/ It's handmade stuff and all that jazz. :) Go on, you know you want some.

Help me

Help me, find my way, discover my path

Amidst the raging storms, and the silent dark

Help me, know my place and understand why

Why I am made like this, why I laugh and why I cry

Help me, find the thing that fills me up inside

So no longer do I have to, against the emptiness fight

Help me, not to wander aimlessly, beating the air

Ignite in me a passion, something that makes me care

Help me, find out the true meaning of my life

So that no longer against the current will I strive

Took this quiz from this website, http://www.dogster.com, and it turns out that I am a... German Shepherd! Hahaha. Well, I've got to admit that I am a perfectionist in certain things that I do, but the other side of me is that I am a complete slob in certain things too! Hahaha. I think I have split personality disorder. :P If you love doggies, take a look around the website and take the quiz too! Ruff!

Dope kix, and assorted street slang.

One of my pet peeves is to hear young punks talking and wearing 'streetwear', i.e. sneakers, tees and jeans. First up, you are in Singapore, punk. Don't talk like some rapper. You will never, ever obtain the street cred REAL rappers have, so stop talking like you know what you are talking about. And next, just because something is Nike, is Levi's Fenom (no offense to these companies, all respect accorded) or whatnot does not make it 'dope'. Get it into your empty mind that it's all about marketing and advertising. And following the crowd doesn't make you 'street', it just makes you stupid and gullible. It makes you a hype beast, buying into all the hype and all that. Finally, again, just because something is seemingly 'dope' to you doesn't mean that it looks good on you. How many terrible fits have we seen on the streets, that make us want to dig our eyes out, are from those 'streetwear' people? Dressed head to toe in tees that cost few hundred dollars, sneakers that cost like close to 1k, jeans that cost OVER 1k, doesn't make you look good by proxy; it only makes you look like a douchebag. All these adds up to you being a hype-buying, ridiculous, slang spewing douchebag with totally no idea what is going on and guess what? You have just burnt 2k or more just to look like an idiot.

Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for legitimate rappers, bboys, djs, streetwear people, designers and companies and the whole lot I neglect to mention who know what they are doing. They got the creativity, the credentials and have lived the life to know what they are talking about. I understand about art, customization and making things unique and all that. What I can't stand are people who just think that they are oh-so-cool by having these things without knowing what they stand for. I may not know much about the street culture and all that, but at least I talk properly and I don't buy things just because it is hyped up. Call me judgemental or whatnot, but I can't stand young punks going all, 'Look at me, I am all blinged up and dope, y'all. I am so street.' when the most street thing they do is to go along orchard road and parade their clothes. The next thing that is hyped up that comes along, they jump headfirst unto the bandwagon. These are the people that get on my nerves, not that anyone cares. This is Singapore, boy, and you are soft.

Whatever. Rant over.

This song is so in my head right now.

The hopeless emptiness

Oh, the hopeless emptiness of the things that we do, and the ways we try to deceive ourselves. Isn't it ironic, that it takes an allegedly insane person to hit the nail on the head; that we all know that it is empty, the things that we do but we could never admit to ourselves that it is hopeless? Because once hope is gone, life is gone. Maybe he isn't insane afterall, maybe he just sees more than we admit to and acknowledges the fact. Unemcumbered by norms and rules because he sees the truth of things, he is free to express himself in whatever way he deems fit while the rest of us sheep continue to conform. This goes against 'proper form' and he is judged to be insane, to keep us comfortable and sedated and make us feel 'superior' to him. Conformity is king, at least that's what we think.

Irony

Irony: An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity.

Here I am, trying my darnest to study for an exam that seems to have no head or tail (COM 125, for those who have no idea what I am talking about), and I am struck with a strong sense of irony. I realised that our dear COM 125 lecturer preaches a growth mindset, of authetic learning wherein you grow as you learn and all that jazz but the way he is going to assess us in our finals is to make us memorize. Yes, memorize, the method that we are so used to in Singapore, the best way to get results here. And I thought that being in an American university has unchained those shackles of the 'traditional' method.

Bear in mind that I have absolutely nothing against our COM 125 lecturer; I think that he is passionate and sincerely cares for the education of his students. But it is just ironic, that someone who preaches all that jazz and is passionate reverts to the 'tried-and-tested' way of assessing his students competency. Not so much hypocritical but ironic. And making the exam ambiguous is not helping his cause much. Revision sessions? Nothing substantial comes out of those 'sessions'. It just struck me hard, that's all.

'Nuff said.

Just live.

I don't ask for much, and yet I don't seem to get it. I only need things that are built to last, that will go the distance, that will remain relatively unchanged through the seasons and that will stand the test of time. Simple, right? But usually, the simplest things are the hardest to find.

On the shallow, superficial end, I want clothes and watches and shoes that I can wear everyday, that will remain classic, unaffected by the vagaries of fashion. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

On a deeper note, I don't ask for much in relationships; I just need a few people who are there for me, through every season of life, whose relationship with me will only grow stronger with each passing day, with each experience shared, with each storm weathered. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

It's times like this that I ask myself, 'Why do I even bother? Why do I even care?' It's times like this that I think, 'I don't ask for much in life; and yet I don't seem to get it.' It's times like this when I feel, that I feel is something that I wished I could switch off. It's times like this when I feel, a lot of things but nothing inside. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

Don't remember, and don't hope. That's the best favour you can do for yourself. Just, live... Live in the moment, for the moment.

Me and Mrs Jones

Smooth! Like buttery butter-like butter... ;D

I have changed.

I have changed. Not for the better, but for the worse. I have changed. I have to look good and hard at myself in the mirror, because I have changed to someone I can't recognize. I understand now, that I am human and I am fallible, and I have changed. Don't judge me, just try to accept me although I have changed. I make mistakes and I do people wrong, and I have changed. No more running away from the fact that I have changed.

Jai Ho!

This song is ultra catchy! And they do a move that I like to do! Hahaha. Jai Ho!

When words are just not enough.

Sometimes, words are just not enough. Somehow, words have been cheapened so much that one can hardly believe what people say anymore. 'I love cookies.' and 'I love you.' Two very different meanings, but using the same word. It cheapens the word 'love'.

In the same token, sometimes things are said out of politeness, not because you mean it. 'Thank you.' Does a person really mean that? That they are thankful and grateful to you? Or has it become the polite thing to say, so much so that it doesn't mean anything at all? And when do you know that a person is not sincere at all? When their actions prove otherwise. 'Thank you.' then they take advantage. Also, 'I am sorry.' no longer has any value.

I sort of subscribe to the notion that good guys finish last. You try to be as generous as you can be and soon, people will expect that nice-ness from you. When you feel like saying no, you can't because it would be 'out of character' for you and it seems like something is up with you when all you want to do is say no. Simple as that.

When words are just not enough. I should start treating the people who act more than they say things better. I feel I am a fairly accurate judge of character and I think I know when someone is just saying things and when they really mean it. Don't just say it, show it. Remember, nobody is obliged to help you, but you are obliged to the person who helps you.

End before the end

It can get kind of down and depressing, when you can see how things will end before they end. And that ending is not good. But now that you are mid way, more than mid way through, what can you do? Giving up seems like such a waste, but not giving up will most likely lead to horrible consequences. Your best efforts are not working at all. What can you do? Am I too much of a perfectionist? Am I giving myself undue pressure? Am I too caught up? Am I?

Packed day.

This is such an unearthly hour to be blogging but I just got home after a packed, packed day. First of all, I had a speech presentation to give in class and it went average, not expecting too much from it. Public speaking class dragged until around 12 (was supposed to end at 1030) but class was fun with the variety of topics presented by our classmates.
Next, I went home, rested for a while and then went down to Holland V for some Mexican food with a few people, namely Kev, Lusana, Diana and Sining. Hot day, extremely hot day.
Headed down to Esplanade as ARC was having another sale (!!!). With the use of some *special* vouchers and the sale, I got a Fullcount #1614 for rather cheap; I paid only $55.50 for them! An absolute steal. This buy keeps me off jeans for a long long time.
After that, I went down to Far East to find a tailor to fix my Eternal 811s and got the top button fixed for $3, which all things considered, is quite pricey but at least it only took 5 minutes or so. I can wear my 811s now!!! :D
Next, I went to pick yan up and met kayla, michelle and together with diana, watched 'He's just not that into you'. I lost a couple hours of my life that I can never get back. :P Not that it's a bad movie; just not my cup of tea.
Feeling hungry, we went to try the famous Punggol nasi lemak. The chicken wing is sedap!!!! Must try it out! It's just after Kovan mrt, can't miss it. I had fun hanging with those crazy girls! :D
Finally, feeling tired and all that, I sent diana and yan home. And horrors of horrors, I was almost the cause of an accident on the way home alone! I was driving, feeling tired and thinking about stuff and the next thing I know, I was being honked from behind! I actually fell asleep and veered into the adjacent lane, nearly causing a car to hit me!!! I woke up at the sound of the horn and pulled away in time! Thank God! I feel so protected. I was so shocked that I was awake the whole way back. It's so scary! Need to get some shut eye now. Zzzzz...

Denime XX type 1st day

So, after yesterday's hot soak and quick wash, I threw the Denimes into the dryer... Which was a mistake... Random streaks of indigo all over the jeans. Don't look that good but nothing can be done at this point. Note to self: Never ever put jeans into the dryer!

Anyway, so the jeans shrunk about an inch in the waist and about 2 inches in the inseam, as expected. Had to struggle for a couple of minutes to put on the jeans and button them up. They were so tight that they hurt my hipbones (which are thankfully well padded by my fats) quite a bit. I wore them while they were still a little damp to ease the stretching. Also did some squats to quicken the process. Obsessive, I know.

My thoughts on the denim, quite rough but not uncomfortable. Quite comforting actually, the tough as nails kind of feeling. This cut is a slightly fuller cut than my other jeans so it was surprisingly cooling to wear slightly less fitted jeans. Nice!

So after a day of wearing them around school, they have stretched out quite a bit and are fairly comfortable right now. But want to see how they turn out in a year's time or something. :)

Anyway, on the 'hunt' for a new pair of jeans! Hahaha. It's an addiction!!!

Denime XX type Hot soak

So, instead of doing work, I put my Denimes in for a hot soak. Looking forward to wearing these babies. Took some measurements, and some pictures. Waiting for the results of the hot soak. Another half an hour or so, I am going to dump them into the dryer to dry and shrink them even more and try to stretch out the waist later. =D I should be working now so sue me...

Update: Just emptied the water and it's all yucky with the starch and a bit of the indigo running... The Denimes are in the washing machine right now then the dryer! So exciting!

Eternal 811 spoilt

This is such a weird time for me to blog. I am still in school and guess what?

The top button of my favourite pair of jeans, the Eternal 811s just broke off!!!! This is so saddening!!! I was in the toilet and the button just snapped off. The inner part of the button just crumbled into dust!!! ='( I am so upset now. Can't wear those until I fix the button. Getting too fat for my own good. Maybe it's time to break out my new pair of jeans! :) But sure hope that I can find a good tailor to repair the button.

I want a dog!

I was just at VivoCity with my mum just now and as usual, I will try to 'persuade' her to allow me to keep a dog whenever we are there by going to the pet shop. Before we went in today, I said, 'If there are shelties (which is the breed of dog that I absolutely love), it is a sign.' That's because pet shops don't have shelties often. And guess what?!?!?!? The pet shop had 3 shelties!!! They are absolutely adorable! I want one!!! My mum kept 'tempting' me by saying if I wanted one, I can go get... But looking after a dog is mucho responsibility. And expensive. A dog cannot be bought on impulse, much to consider. But then again, it's so nice to have a dog at home to play with, to love and to train. Hahaha. Oh man. I want my sheltie!!!!

Kiss from a rose

I just heard this song on the radio and it is so nice!



Seal is awesome!!! Kiss from a rose is like one of the few songs from the 90s that can really stand the test of time. It never gets old and dated. Awesome song.

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and,
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I might compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.

You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
Baby, to me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I might compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah.

Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,

I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose ( on the grey)
...And if I should fall, at all
I've been kissed by a rose (on the grey)

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.

You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.

To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and,
the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I might compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey,
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah

Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
the stranger it feels, yeah.

Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,

Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Get over yourself

Have you ever had the experience, that it is so difficult to talk to some people that you end up making a fool of yourself? You really want to have a good conversation with that particular person but somehow, the responses are less than warm, they seem to be only able to speak in one word sentences and their body language seems to be so closed up. You try to keep the conversation going but your best efforts go to nought. You find yourself blabbering like an idiot and saying stupid things. Soon, you run out of topics and the atmosphere just turns from cool to frosty. At that point, you realise that it is no longer wise to try to force the issue and you just give up. You wonder what is wrong with yourself and a vicious cycle begins. You try to make conversation with the person the next time you meet but it just gets worse and worse. The person just seems disinterested.

Then there are people you can tell your whole life story to. You just say 'hi' and soon the conversation runs into the hours. You can talk about anything and everything and even nothing at all. The person just engages you in the conversation and makes you feel comfortable. They are interested, warm and open in their body language. You don't have to purposefully think of topics to talk about and sound so forced and fake. Things just flow. Then a cycle starts. You want to talk to that person even more and the more you talk, the more comfortable you get and the more comfortable you get, the more you talk.

Then there are people who blow hot and cold so you don't know which way to go. They can talk to you like the people from the second category at times and at other times, represent the 'best' of the first category. You don't know what to think and how to deal with it. You feel that you are an blabbering idiot at times and at other times, you feel marginally like a friend. You are so confused. What do you do? A cycle starts as well. You try to determine which kind of person you are talking to. You try different methods. But it is not the methods you try. Everything is hit-or-miss. The exact same method used to get a conversation started before fails miserably. The failed attempt to get the conversation rolling the other time suddenly works! You don't know whether or not to get closer or just keep your distance.

Sometimes, political correct-ness gets tiring. One can't just go, 'I don't want to talk to you, get out of my breathing space.' Usually, people go, 'I am so polite that I am not going to outrightly chase you away but I am going to be so subtle about it that you just leave out of discomfort.' If you don't want to talk to a person, you should just say so. Cruel, perhaps. Cold, maybe. But it gets tiring to be always second guessing and trying to be likable to people who obviously can't connect with you. I am not so thick-skinned and thick-skulled that I enjoy slamming my head against the wall every time I talk to you. I don't want my head to get messed up anymore. Get over yourself, like how I am getting over you.

Failure

I was just struck with this thought. I have been living my whole life thus far so afraid of failure and rejection, when in actual fact failure is never fatal nor final. I need a paradigm shift in my thinking, to dare to stick my neck out and risk it. I can't and won't play it safe my whole life and wonder about the what ifs. No regrets, because therein lies the path to madness.

Lucky

This is my current favourite song! So sweet! Hahaha. And don't go drawing any weird conclusions and extrapolations from this.. I just like this song! :D And Colbie Caillat looks awesome, with her sun-kisssed skin and all. Wow!:) And don't you think that she looks like Jennifer Aniston from certain angles?

Eternal 811 5th wash

So, in the spirit of Chinese New Year and all things new and all that jazz, I decided to give my 811s AKA my Sng Sng Jeans™ (SSJ™)a wash in the washing machine. This is the 5th wash in around 1.5 years. Wearing these for a little while longer before moving on. :)

Contact lenses

So, I finally got my contact lenses recently and started wearing them. Don't laugh at me when you see me. Anyway, it's fun and all to learn how to poke one's eye but I am managing quite well, I think. The only other worry is that since I am using permanent soft contact lenses, I am so afraid that I might spoil them or lose them. I am so scared of the lenses drying out or splitting or whatever will happen. My contact lenses are supposed to be able to last 1-2 years if I take good care of them. But I am not quite sure what amounts to taking good care. And the thing is, one pair is not cheap. That just adds to the stress. Hahaha. So, anyone with experience with permanent soft contact lenses? What constitutes good care? Help me, please!!!

Dead hour

When mounting an attack on an enemy's base, a good tactician would know to plan the attack during the so-called dead hour, from 2am to 3am (I found that the dead hour is from 3-4am, so 2-3am is the almost-dead hour :P), when people are at their least active and in deep slumber.
I reckon that this is the same for us, and especially for my emotional being. I am very susceptible to bouts of melancholy during these hours. And what's more, this 'problem' is compounded when I listen to Class 95 at these hours, when practically all the songs played are love songs.
Why am I saying all these? I was just on the way home after a good time of steamboat and chilling out with my cg when a profound sense of loss and longing just hit me while I was in my car. I don't know how else to describe it but it was so acute that it was almost painful physically. And I have absolutely no idea what that was about. It wasn't something concrete or specific; it was almost like a wisp of smoke, insubstantial but still very real. Somehow, the knowledge of this.. this.. this melancholy is just beyond my grasp; whenever I approach it, it dances out of my reach.
It is in the dead hour, when all is quiet and still, that it hits you. It hits you hard and you don't know what it is. You are left reeling and a hollow feeling develops inside.

Knackered

Wow. I am so tired right now, it isn't funny. A few of us went to play basketball after school and it was fun! So thanks to all who went. In order of leaving the court: Felicia and Sarah, Lusana, Jia jia, Wei Qi, and those who stayed til the end were Yan, Sining and Jiamin, together with Shem, Kev, Ee fei and myself. :P I blame Ee fei for my headache and cold sweats. 'One last game, I promise.' he said. >:) Anyway, the girls can really play basketball man! Super impressed! You girls are so on! :) We should do this more often. Time to sleep already. So tired!!!!

Oscar Wilde

I am reading this compilation of short stories by Oscar Wilde, stories written for his children and man, are they excellent. Somehow, the poetic style of writing has gotten lost somewhere along the way. To quote a beautiful line, '... the Sun in his chariot of gold and the Moon in her chariot of pearl.' Wow! I just feel so inspired reading his stories. And they are beautiful stories, with a thread of common grace running through all of them. How I wish I were as poetic as him. How I wish I could write like that. I think if I were to write like that, it would come out cheesy more than beautiful.

Now this is what I call science

Now this is that I call science. It's super duper awesome cool! Invisibility cloak.
The power of science!!!

Switch off

I am going to say something and I hope that anyone out there reading this would not look upon me poorly for saying this: I am only human and I am very flawed. Please do not judge me when I fail or I fall, when I scream or I shout, when I slip or I trip. I am only human, and by nature am flawed. I am not perfect and never will be; I am just human, that everyone can see.

One major flaw that I have is that I am not open as people want me to be or even not as much as I want to be. I am in too much 'control' of my emotions that sometimes it's scary how easily I turn them on and off. Maybe not control but surpressing? Anyway, I can almost feel a physical sensation when I shut down my emotions pertaining to certain things. And of course, this 'mechanism' is not perfect. There are times when I am unable to control my emotions and there are times I choose not to. But it's still a rather scary thing, to be almost able to feel that 'switching' off of my emotions. Also, being melancholic in nature, I feel that slightly darker emotions have a stronger pull and a more lasting effect on me. So I tend to focus on those emotions more. They are in a way, not as easy to control.

Anyway, time to 'switch off' again.

'It's just emotions, taking me over. Caught up in sorrow, lost in a song.'

New semester

So, my new semester has started and can't say that I have a good feeling about this semester. It's going to be one tough semester, with many changes and all that. For one, everyone are like in different classes. Acquaintances are acquaintances; good to say hi and bye to but together in a class and all that without closer friends, tough. I just feel that, if one is in a class of acquaintances, with their own cliques and all that, sometimes it's just easier to work in a class of strangers. I guess that's why it's so important to be working or studying with people who are not only friendly but whom you are comfortable with.
More than just that, the workload for this semester is also going to be quite heavy, and I just dropped a module that may delay my graduation time. I have got a super duper extra tough school day every Wednesday and when I emailed the administration to adjust, they just said I should drop a module if I feel that I could not cope as the class I want is full. What sort of advice is that?!
I really need grace this semester; grace to make it through, and make it through well. But who knows that the semester has in store? But we frame our world with our words; so I speak to you, New Semester, that you are going to be a fulfilling and enjoyable semester for me! :)

Perspective

I just had a epiphany: Everything is just a matter of perspective. Sometimes, a mere shift in perspective can set things right. Choose to look at things from a different angle, with a different light and you may surprise yourself. Try it out, it may work for you like how it worked (somewhat) for me! :)

Big ticket item 2009

Okay.. I think this year's big ticket item for me would be... a nice DSLR! Thinking of a Canon (what else?) Hahaha. Check this picture I took with ting ting's camera.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w5DEc7tBJ-c/SWZEJSZDrhI/AAAAAAAAATc/YIAdWkw626A/s1600-h/n535073082_1953430_1857.jpg (courtesy of Sarah's blog)
I think I caught the photography bug. I am so going to start saving money; perhaps I could save enough in time for those tech fairs thingies toward the end of the year. But the only thing that worries me is that I would be blowing a lot of money of something that I could possibly have like, 3 minutes of interest in. Oh well, I sure hope not. I want to be those arty farty types who carry camera everywhere they go and can make the most mundane things look... magical. Make the plainest thing look beautiful! Change lead into gold! Hahaha. :P And since I am absolutely NOT creative in the fine arts of music and song, nor at drawing, and with just a tiny (imagined???) talent in writing, I should look to develop other areas of my creativity right? Right? Right?! Right?!?! Good. So... Creativity, here I come! Or at least, I would try to.

P.S. I was talking to ting ting and this quote is so good that I have to have it somewhere to remember it by. By Germs: 'All gifts are meted out with unequal measure but with equal pleasure.' ;D

Blindness

So after many, many years of wearing spectacles, I finally gave in and went to make contact lenses today. At Kev's mum's shop. Due to my super duper lousy eyesight, my contacts must be made special and they cost a whooping amount!!! And that's after a super discount discount. Oh man. So expensive. And I will definitely get people telling me whatnot, that I look better with spectacles and I look funny without spectacles and the like. But I don't care! Or at least I try not to. Spectacles are getting bothersome to me. It's not a vanity issue with me. There, I said it. So to all you people who are going to laugh at me, in front of me or behind me, RAWR!
So anyway, going to the optician always makes me scared. Not because I have a phobia. But because everytime I go to the optician, my eyesight is proven to have worsen. It's like I am becoming blind bit by bit. And the scary part? I can't do anything about it. I can't Lasik because my cornea is too thin. I can't do anything to reverse the deterioration of my eyesight. I am so scared of becoming blind. :(
So I decided to consult a specialist at the Singapore National Eye Center soon, to see what can be done. But first, I must waste hours upon of hours of my life at the polyclinic to get a referral. And I have to get it done soon. Oh, how I wish I had better eyesight! Don't let me experience the dark, the dark of not being able to see.