Eternal 811 5th wash

So, in the spirit of Chinese New Year and all things new and all that jazz, I decided to give my 811s AKA my Sng Sng Jeans™ (SSJ™)a wash in the washing machine. This is the 5th wash in around 1.5 years. Wearing these for a little while longer before moving on. :)

Contact lenses

So, I finally got my contact lenses recently and started wearing them. Don't laugh at me when you see me. Anyway, it's fun and all to learn how to poke one's eye but I am managing quite well, I think. The only other worry is that since I am using permanent soft contact lenses, I am so afraid that I might spoil them or lose them. I am so scared of the lenses drying out or splitting or whatever will happen. My contact lenses are supposed to be able to last 1-2 years if I take good care of them. But I am not quite sure what amounts to taking good care. And the thing is, one pair is not cheap. That just adds to the stress. Hahaha. So, anyone with experience with permanent soft contact lenses? What constitutes good care? Help me, please!!!

Dead hour

When mounting an attack on an enemy's base, a good tactician would know to plan the attack during the so-called dead hour, from 2am to 3am (I found that the dead hour is from 3-4am, so 2-3am is the almost-dead hour :P), when people are at their least active and in deep slumber.
I reckon that this is the same for us, and especially for my emotional being. I am very susceptible to bouts of melancholy during these hours. And what's more, this 'problem' is compounded when I listen to Class 95 at these hours, when practically all the songs played are love songs.
Why am I saying all these? I was just on the way home after a good time of steamboat and chilling out with my cg when a profound sense of loss and longing just hit me while I was in my car. I don't know how else to describe it but it was so acute that it was almost painful physically. And I have absolutely no idea what that was about. It wasn't something concrete or specific; it was almost like a wisp of smoke, insubstantial but still very real. Somehow, the knowledge of this.. this.. this melancholy is just beyond my grasp; whenever I approach it, it dances out of my reach.
It is in the dead hour, when all is quiet and still, that it hits you. It hits you hard and you don't know what it is. You are left reeling and a hollow feeling develops inside.

Knackered

Wow. I am so tired right now, it isn't funny. A few of us went to play basketball after school and it was fun! So thanks to all who went. In order of leaving the court: Felicia and Sarah, Lusana, Jia jia, Wei Qi, and those who stayed til the end were Yan, Sining and Jiamin, together with Shem, Kev, Ee fei and myself. :P I blame Ee fei for my headache and cold sweats. 'One last game, I promise.' he said. >:) Anyway, the girls can really play basketball man! Super impressed! You girls are so on! :) We should do this more often. Time to sleep already. So tired!!!!

Oscar Wilde

I am reading this compilation of short stories by Oscar Wilde, stories written for his children and man, are they excellent. Somehow, the poetic style of writing has gotten lost somewhere along the way. To quote a beautiful line, '... the Sun in his chariot of gold and the Moon in her chariot of pearl.' Wow! I just feel so inspired reading his stories. And they are beautiful stories, with a thread of common grace running through all of them. How I wish I were as poetic as him. How I wish I could write like that. I think if I were to write like that, it would come out cheesy more than beautiful.

Now this is what I call science

Now this is that I call science. It's super duper awesome cool! Invisibility cloak.
The power of science!!!

Switch off

I am going to say something and I hope that anyone out there reading this would not look upon me poorly for saying this: I am only human and I am very flawed. Please do not judge me when I fail or I fall, when I scream or I shout, when I slip or I trip. I am only human, and by nature am flawed. I am not perfect and never will be; I am just human, that everyone can see.

One major flaw that I have is that I am not open as people want me to be or even not as much as I want to be. I am in too much 'control' of my emotions that sometimes it's scary how easily I turn them on and off. Maybe not control but surpressing? Anyway, I can almost feel a physical sensation when I shut down my emotions pertaining to certain things. And of course, this 'mechanism' is not perfect. There are times when I am unable to control my emotions and there are times I choose not to. But it's still a rather scary thing, to be almost able to feel that 'switching' off of my emotions. Also, being melancholic in nature, I feel that slightly darker emotions have a stronger pull and a more lasting effect on me. So I tend to focus on those emotions more. They are in a way, not as easy to control.

Anyway, time to 'switch off' again.

'It's just emotions, taking me over. Caught up in sorrow, lost in a song.'

New semester

So, my new semester has started and can't say that I have a good feeling about this semester. It's going to be one tough semester, with many changes and all that. For one, everyone are like in different classes. Acquaintances are acquaintances; good to say hi and bye to but together in a class and all that without closer friends, tough. I just feel that, if one is in a class of acquaintances, with their own cliques and all that, sometimes it's just easier to work in a class of strangers. I guess that's why it's so important to be working or studying with people who are not only friendly but whom you are comfortable with.
More than just that, the workload for this semester is also going to be quite heavy, and I just dropped a module that may delay my graduation time. I have got a super duper extra tough school day every Wednesday and when I emailed the administration to adjust, they just said I should drop a module if I feel that I could not cope as the class I want is full. What sort of advice is that?!
I really need grace this semester; grace to make it through, and make it through well. But who knows that the semester has in store? But we frame our world with our words; so I speak to you, New Semester, that you are going to be a fulfilling and enjoyable semester for me! :)

Perspective

I just had a epiphany: Everything is just a matter of perspective. Sometimes, a mere shift in perspective can set things right. Choose to look at things from a different angle, with a different light and you may surprise yourself. Try it out, it may work for you like how it worked (somewhat) for me! :)

Big ticket item 2009

Okay.. I think this year's big ticket item for me would be... a nice DSLR! Thinking of a Canon (what else?) Hahaha. Check this picture I took with ting ting's camera.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w5DEc7tBJ-c/SWZEJSZDrhI/AAAAAAAAATc/YIAdWkw626A/s1600-h/n535073082_1953430_1857.jpg (courtesy of Sarah's blog)
I think I caught the photography bug. I am so going to start saving money; perhaps I could save enough in time for those tech fairs thingies toward the end of the year. But the only thing that worries me is that I would be blowing a lot of money of something that I could possibly have like, 3 minutes of interest in. Oh well, I sure hope not. I want to be those arty farty types who carry camera everywhere they go and can make the most mundane things look... magical. Make the plainest thing look beautiful! Change lead into gold! Hahaha. :P And since I am absolutely NOT creative in the fine arts of music and song, nor at drawing, and with just a tiny (imagined???) talent in writing, I should look to develop other areas of my creativity right? Right? Right?! Right?!?! Good. So... Creativity, here I come! Or at least, I would try to.

P.S. I was talking to ting ting and this quote is so good that I have to have it somewhere to remember it by. By Germs: 'All gifts are meted out with unequal measure but with equal pleasure.' ;D

Blindness

So after many, many years of wearing spectacles, I finally gave in and went to make contact lenses today. At Kev's mum's shop. Due to my super duper lousy eyesight, my contacts must be made special and they cost a whooping amount!!! And that's after a super discount discount. Oh man. So expensive. And I will definitely get people telling me whatnot, that I look better with spectacles and I look funny without spectacles and the like. But I don't care! Or at least I try not to. Spectacles are getting bothersome to me. It's not a vanity issue with me. There, I said it. So to all you people who are going to laugh at me, in front of me or behind me, RAWR!
So anyway, going to the optician always makes me scared. Not because I have a phobia. But because everytime I go to the optician, my eyesight is proven to have worsen. It's like I am becoming blind bit by bit. And the scary part? I can't do anything about it. I can't Lasik because my cornea is too thin. I can't do anything to reverse the deterioration of my eyesight. I am so scared of becoming blind. :(
So I decided to consult a specialist at the Singapore National Eye Center soon, to see what can be done. But first, I must waste hours upon of hours of my life at the polyclinic to get a referral. And I have to get it done soon. Oh, how I wish I had better eyesight! Don't let me experience the dark, the dark of not being able to see.

Twenty-oh-nine

So, 2008 has just passed, and we have stepped into a new year, 2009. This is the first year in a long time that I am crossing into the new year without much hoo-haa and fanfare and this sort of gives me time to think. To reflect about things and also to think about how I want 2009 to be.
I hope that for me, 2009 would be a year of greater heights, and of greater breakthroughs. 2009 would be a year that I heed my own advice and love fiercely and be loved fiercely. I will treasure the people around me more. I will learn to enjoy the present and not be affected by both the past and future.
There are many, many things that I want to do, I hope for in 2009 but right now, there's a bittersweet feeling running through me that I can't really put into words. It's a melancholic feeling, but yet infused with expectation and hope. Yet another year has passed and another year is right before us. We can do anything we want with this blank slate.
As always, I must remind myself to remember God, to be thankful for the past year, and also to expect something for the year ahead. Like all relationships, I want to be on a deeper level with Him this year. I just want to be more faithful, more hungry and more reliant on Him. Let me go through 2009 not by my own strength, not alone but with God by my side every step of the way.