Yummers

Today, I had one of the most delish steaks I have ever tasted so far. At Hogsbreath at Holland V. I had the blackened prime rib (sounds horrid but I assure, super tasty!) and Kev had the marinated prime fillet. This is the first time I tasted something so tasty that even the fatty bits had the flavour infused into it! Hahaha. But the sides of garden veggies and baked potato were so-so. But the steak more than covers this small flaw up! So meat lovers, do give Hogsbreath a try someday. And oh, for some reason we had a 20% discount so our meal barely cost us $30 each! :D Yummers!

A little boy

There was once this little boy, who wasn't afraid of the dark. He was full of hope and optimism, so much so that the dark just seemed mysterious and exciting, not scary. Then one day, he fell and hurt himself in the dark. Now, he was lost and scared in the seemingly endless dark.
One day, he saw a beam of light up ahead. Drawing closer, he could feel the warmth and the comfort of the light. Stepping closer, he basked in the light. Slowly but surely, he started to enjoy the warmth of the light, hoping that this light was lit for him and him alone.
But as his eyes got used to the light, he realised that the light that lit his life up was not a light solely lit for him but it was the sun, that shone down on everyone. Soon, he became jealous of the people who were 'sharing' his light. Then, he became angry with the sun.
'Why must you shine down on everyone?!?'
But slowly, he came to his senses and realised that it was in the nature of the sun to shine on everyone; that he was the silly one to think that the sun shone for him alone. So he turned his back from the sun and walked back into the dark.
He was still afraid of the dark but the thought of misunderstanding the sun and the loss that came with the understanding was a scarier thought. So into the dark he went.

You

'It's sad, so sad, it's a sad sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd.'
Do you think that it is a sad thing, that there may not be anyone in the world who knows the real you. Yes, the real you. Not the one that you present to the world everyday and may not even be the one that you reveal to a few close people. But the REAL YOU. The 'you' that shows up when you are alone, when you are hurting, when you are thinking thoughts that you can't reveal to anyone at all. The 'you' that only you know, from the deepest depths of your being.
A square peg does not fit into a round hole. Do you sometimes feel that you are like a fish out of water, that you don't fit in. That no matter how hard you try, you can't find your place in this world because you are trying to be someone you are not. And being someone you are not takes up so much of your energy, your effort that you can't even remember who you really are.
And sometimes, you really want to catch the wave, to go with the flow. But yet, how can you flow when you are ice and you have to be water to flow? You can only float and hope that you are able to keep up. All the while you are trying to keep up, you are melting, losing your self bit by bit.
So, to quote an excellent poet Jeremy from his excellent poem, 'Can I?'
'Can I just be me? Can I just be free?'
'That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight.......'

It's a weird thing but I realised that I just sent my 811s for their 4th wash today. I didn't realise that I washed them so many times. :( Oh well. After much complaining from people around, I decided to freshen up the smell of the 811s.

Feeling good today... :D After being sick for so long, feeling much better and finally managed to hit the gym in the morning today. Had a good workout, in my opinion. Still thinking about whether to take whey protein or not. Have a big tub of it sitting around at home. But I hate the taste.. Bleah.. It's double chocolate from Optimum Nutrition. Oh well.
Anyway, I let Jamie A.K.A. Jia jia A.K.A. Joyce drive a bit in my car since she just passed her TP. And man, was it scary. First, she almost ran my car into the wall as we were going up the slope out of the carpark. Then, when turning out of school, she almost stopped my heart and killed a motorcyclist!!! I mean, the car missed the motorcyclist by mere inches!!! Good thing he managed to swerve away. And she almost hit a car too!!! Hahaha. I made her stop at the next possible place and she was like, 'My adrenalin is pumping!!! I got a headache from all that adrenalin!!! I almost killed a person!!!' Hahaha. Funny... Lady drivers... :P

EOTYR list.

Okay, so here's the deal. Being sick has given me time to think and I decided to do (or not to do) a few things for the rest of the year. So, drum roll please, for my End Of The Year Resolution List a.k.a. EOTYR (pronounced ee-oh-tyre) List! *rrrrrrrrrrr tsh*

1. I will go to bed at 11p.m. every night, as much as possible.
2. I will wake up at 7a.m. every morning, as much as possible.
3. I will limit my leisure Internet time to 2 hours a day.
4. I will exercise 3 times a week; on Tue, Thu and Sat.
5. I will smile more.
6. I will think positively about life and about myself.
7. I will eat more fruits and veggies.
8. I will drink more water.
9. I will eat as clean as I possibly can.
10. I will study (including homework and reading and projects and whatnot) at least 2 hours a day.
11. I will not procrastinate. Too much...
So, as you can see, I have a mountain of work to do. I reckon these resolutions will keep me busy until year end. So, I will enter the new year healthier, fitter, happier, smarter and less addicted to the computer! Hahaha.
P.S. EOTYR List will activate on Monday 14/09/2008. :P

So, being sick for the whole week, I suddenly want to get better so bad. You know why? So that I can hit the gym again! Hahaha. After trying to recuperate from my cold, which by the way seems to be getting worse, I feel so 'nua' and fat. I must stick to my goal of shaping up in these 3 months! Hahaha. This week is a major setback. But then again, this week has made me feel like I want to hit the gym harder than before! :) So me being sick could be sort of a 'blessing' in disguise. Get well soon!!!!

Sick

I am sick!!!! It's like a biannual thing. Argh! Sore throat, headaches, sniffly nose, cough, slight fever and assorted sick symptoms. :( Struggled through the whole day with these symptoms. At first, I wanted to gym in the morning at school but taking the lift up to the gym on the fourth floor, I felt so tired that I decided against gymming. Took a shower in school instead. :P And I didn't know I could blush as hard as I did in Sociology class today. (''-_-) Anyway, feeling bad right now. Sick and feeling fat! Hahaha. Oh well. Shower and sleep now. Night, world!

Isn't it funny how we humans are so prone to negativity? Especially for me I think. I realised that one negative thing that you hear will burrow and bury itself into your mind and at the same time, wipe out ten other positive things that you have heard. And even when I hear positive things, I would be just that little bit disbelieving. So it is extremely difficult for me to receive positive comments. Hahaha. No wonder people around are frustrated with me. But the first step to recovery is to admit that you have a problem. Hahaha.
But isn't it the case for most people? The negative just sticks with you and escalates while the positive always seems to fade away into the background, perhaps even further. You can do a million good deeds but slip up once and the whole world pounces on you. Maybe it's our obsession with perfection.
So, I feel that it is time for me not to have such a perfectionist mentality. It's time for me to have not a negative mindset but a positive one. I want to remember the positive and let go of the negatives. Like does attract like so I want to start attracting positive things. I want to stop comparing and start living. I want to be able to find perfection in the imperfect. Will my life be better then? I will tell you in a bit. Hahaha.

Once again, I am struck by how this world is such a complex, complicated place, where nothing is what is seems. It seems that you can think about how you are like and have an idealized image of yourself but when facing things that you never thought would happen to you or people around you, it forces you to re-evaluate yourself. And suddenly, you are just a small, small speck in the infinitesimal order of things. Suddenly, you are forced to admit that you are flawed, you are not ideal, you are not perfect. But that is the path to knowing oneself. And learning and growing. But, let there be simplicity of heart in my life; let me not grow so much that I lose this. Please.

Well, have you ever had these experiences? A good friend you have not seen for a long long time meets up with you and you guys used to talk about everything under the sun. But after a long hiatus, suddenly you seem like strangers and there is even an awkwardness, perhaps a sense of a friendship irrevocably changed. And yet, there are friends whom you have not seem for ages and when you meet up, it's like the weeks and months just melt away and you seem to continue from where you left off so long ago.
Well, met up with Serene today to have dinner and a little catching up. And I am so glad that she is the latter type of friend. We talked, we shared and we laughed, a lot! And babe, if you are reading this, you still look as good as ever, perhaps even better! ;) And those who think that perhaps I have found 'The One', Serene is happily married to a nice guy! Hahaha. So to all the girls I supposedly rejected [check out my tagboard ;)], there is still hope! *crazy*
Anyway, I just cut my hair short. Mixed reviews. I personally think that I look so 'tut' but well, there are (blind) people who say that my new look is not bad. Oh well, no matter. Hair grows out sooner or later. Hahaha. And I am determined to stop all the 'fat' and 'ugly' talk about myself. I must confess positively! Hahaha. So I will try to change my world with the power of my words! But one baby step at a time ya?
Oh, and finally, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the service in two places I went today. First, our waitress at Outback Steakhouse was rather pleasant and polite. Although she got our orders slightly mixed up, I still felt that if we were a tipping nation, she would have received a not too shabby tip from me! And the cashier at Borders, sorry I didn't get your name but you did a great job! She was so perky and enthusiastic that I left Borders with a smile on my face! All that at around 11p.m.!!! These two people gives me hope for our service industry! Keep up the good work!