Hot soak spree

On a hot soaking spree! Just threw my Denime XX types into the bucket for a hot soak. Hoping to curb my eczema by having clean jeans..

ROYs hot soak

Did a hot soak last night, to try to get rid of weird creases. Even tried ironing them out while damp. No avail. Oh well.

Drawing away

I sense a drawing away.

Let me not be distracted to the left, nor the right.

Focus.

Night terror

Night terrors are no fun at all.

It's time

When I am there for you, and you are not for me, it's time.

When I am the one always reaching out, and you are not, it's time.
When I am more concerned for you, than you for me, it's time.
When I finally see the light, and you don't, it's time.
When I don't see the point, and you never did, it's time.
When I decide to move on, and you are not part of the equation, it's time.
When I am the only one detecting the cracks, and you don't, it's time.
When I know everything's not fine, but you don't, it's time.
When I feel disappointed, and you don't know why, it's time.

Oh yeah, it's time.

Bye.

ROYs hot wash

With all the hoohaa going on, I decided to give my ROYs a hot soak and start wearing them for a special occasion on Sat. :D Went all the way to my auntie's place, because her washing machine has a hot wash option, and gave my ROYs a quick tumble at 60 degrees Celsius. The water turned all blue and stuff, and now the jeans are back home drying in front of the fan. Hope I can fit into them.

Unfathomable, but indeed, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, His ways higher than our ways.

Jeremiah 9:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Free

If only I were free, unencumbered, unfettered, unshackled, liberated...

M65

M65 in.

Too thick to wear in Singapore weather though. =(

Just the way you are

On a more interesting note, this song is great!

Eternal 811 8th wash

Hand-washing jeans is fun... What can beat stinky, greenish water, and the back-breaking work of rinsing and repeating? Noticed something that possibly could be mold on some parts of the jeans, so better to be safe than sorry. Warm soak, and hand-wash.

Keep my heart

Oh, that You would keep my heart
And lay out my paths even before I start
You guide every step that I am about to take
Teach me to know truth from the fake
Give me the strength to remember Your heart
Through the wilderness, fire and flood
Help me to recognize Your voice
In the midst of all of life's noise
Let me know that You are always there
When I am weighed down by all my cares
On Your face may my focus continually be
Show me all that You want me to see
Bring to remembrance, help me keep in mind
That Your thoughts and ways are not like mine
In spite my weaknesses I still can stay strong
Help my unbelief though the road seems so long
At the springs of Marah, there I shall not dwell
But take me to the rivers of life, a bubbling well
Let me not be choked by thorny ground
But in Your presence, always, may I be found
A new beginning, fresh oil, and a new touch
Thank You Lord, thank you so much

Philippians 1:6 "being confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"

Keep in mind

It's tough, but I have to constantly keep in mind: He is here with me both on the mountain-top and in the valleys low.

Jehovah Shammah

Amazing

Isn't it amazing, that when we are rebellious and hurt the heart of the Father, He is still more concerned about our pain than His own?

Paradox

The paradox in decency is that decent people have to let indecent people do their thing.

100 things (clothes) challenge, start.

So, I just spent a couple of hours going through my wardrobe and clearing it out. I will be heading down to the Salvation Army drop-off point later to drop off 3 huge bags of clothes. Ridiculous, extremely ridiculous. Well, this can officially be the start of my 100 Things (Clothes) Challenge.

I cleared out close to half of the clothes in my cupboard, and I realized that this is not easy. Many things I am still hanging on to, because of 'sentimental' reasons and whatnot. Well, one cannot expect to move a mountain on the first try.

I am going to do a bi-monthly thing: Every 2 months, I will go through my wardrobe (if I am so inclined, and have the time to do so), and the things that I have not worn more than 5 times the past 2 months, I will consider giving them away.

This is a challenge, and I realized how much money I have WASTED on things that are now hiding in my cupboard, never to see the light of day. But I guess that this is something good. Next, after the 100 Things (Clothes) Challenge, I will attempt to take on the rest of my possessions. But that will be a year later...

Wish me all the best!

Oh, the humanity

The condition of humanity is such that we are ensnared by our foibles, and maladies forged by our own hands, and yet it is these that make us so gloriously human.

Oh, the humanity.

The 100 Things Challenge

Those who know me know that I am such a consumer. So it should be surprising that I am inspired by NYT's recent article on consumerism, which led me to search for "The 100 Things Challenge."

So, I am going to start on my own journey, and what better time than to start tonight. But I am setting a more modest goal of 100 items of clothing. This is just the start of something small, but something that could potentially lead to something bigger! :) So don't judge me for my lack of faith...

Since the original challenge allowed for a year to pare stuff that one owns down to 100 items, I am also going to take my time to set aside things that I don't really need/use anymore, and get ready to give them away. I give myself 2 months, which is totally arbitrary. Will try to update regularly about my journey. It is time to de-clutter my life!

And following in the footsteps of the original writer, I am going to set a few of my own rules, in addition to what he had already mentioned.

1. I am going to be brutal and ruthless about giving away my stuff.
2. But things with sentimental value stay.

So with these 2 caveats, in addition to the original game plan, I am going to try to tackle the biggest mountain (literally) in my room, my wardrobe! Counting down the hours.

Let's see where this goes in a couple of days. I bet Salvation Army is going to be so glad! :P

Denime XX Type hot soak+handwash

Threw my Denimes into some boiling water, because they smell a bit, and I was feeling bored. Waited for the water to cool off, then poured in some soap, and rinsed a few times. Yellowish-green gunk, indigo stained water... Yup, I am a clean boy.

I want...

I want this...

And this...

And these...

Then my life will be complete... Until the next thing comes along... I need to learn to be contented... :(

Puma

I am rather happy that Puma, which is associated with adidas, and not Nike, made this ad. Me likey.

Joy

Joy overflowing, running over.

A fresh start.

Looking forward.

Nehemiah 8:10 "Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

ROYs

The ROYs have landed.

Public Transport

While I have a deep appreciation for, in my humble opinion, the extremely well-planned, convenient, and comfortable public transport infrastructure in Singapore, I rather dislike taking public transport, especially during peak hours. Call me spoilt, but I DO NOT enjoy having my personal space invaded by every Tom, Dick, Harry, and even Jane, Mary, and Sally.

Case in point: I, on this very rare occasion, managed to get a seat in a comfortably empty MRT carriage this morning. With beautiful thoughts of settling down and having a good read to pass time on the long train ride, I took a seat and was rather pleased with how the day was going. Next thing I know, a lady, and I am stretching the use of the word here, sits down in the seat beside me. And THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE RIDE, SHE SITS SO CLOSE TO ME THAT OUR SHOULDERS ARE PRESSING UP AGAINST EACH OTHER. I tried to create some space by leaning to the other side, and even shifting rather obviously, and even leaning forward to pose like some superhero, but SHE WAS OBLIVIOUS! It was like she's thinking, 'Hmmmm... I seem to have more space now, let's see how much more space I can have on my right. Oh, there seems to be a guy on my right, but he doesn't seem to need a lot of space, while I need more space than my body can take up.'

Now, I understand that I am not the slimmest guy around, but I try not to take up more space than necessary. I don't spread my legs wide open like I have a tumor in my nether-regions, nor do I try to puff myself up with imaginary muscles, and encroach into other people's personal space. And I absolutely dislike someone's shoulder, or other assorted body parts pressing up against me while I am trying to enjoy my train ride. AND SHE WAS LIKE HALF AS WIDE AS ME! And she was taking up more space than me. I was so tempted to take a picture of her face, and post it on the Internet, to warn people not to sit beside her.

Rare enjoyable train ride, ruined.

All said, I would like to think I do not infringe on someone else's space; even while standing in a crowded train, I try to make myself take up as little space as possible. But I think it all boils down to being considerate. And you cannot be considerate to other people when you think that you are entitled to acting like you are entitled to something. But hey, I am entitled to my space too! The seats are contoured for a reason... One more thing, why does the MRT companies allow so many people to squeeze into the trains or buses when there is a maximum number of commuters allowed in one carriage or bus? This is a safety hazard, and makes the ride oh-so-unpleasant. Just increase the frequency of the trains or buses, so that people will not want to rush and squeeze for 45 minutes just so they can shave off 2 minutes of their traveling time.

That's my beef with public transport, the public. Public transport in Singapore is practically like a movie; you get to see the good, the bad, and the plain ugly. I have a love-hate relationship with public transport; I love the transport, I hate the public taking it. But not to take public transport would mean petrol costs, ridiculously overinflated yet ineffectual ERP rates, exorbitant parking fees. But that is another story for another day.

A snowball's chance in Hell

Sometimes, the cruelest people are the people who don't know that they are being cruel.
Sometimes, the most casual remark can be the most stinging.
Sometimes, I tend to think too much.
Yeah, a snowball's chance in Hell.

Simplicity

Oh, that I may never lose the simplicity of heart.

Hands

Hands, strong hands that hold me tight
That because of my weaknesses help me fight
Hands, strong hands that shelter me from harm
From the storms, and the fire, and the floods that come
Hands, gentle hands that guide me back to the path
when I wander from it, and the ground beneath become rough
Hands, gentle hands that hold onto me with love undeserved
That feed me when I hunger, and water me when I thirst
Hands, firm hands that chasten and correct but never hurt
So that one day I can be free, and fly as high as a bird
Hands, firm hands that grasp mine tightly as tight can be
That work from behind the scenes, for no one but me to see

Colours

Call me delusional or otherwise, but I think that a life worth living is one that has not lost its 'colours', so to speak. Not everything has to be explained, and neither can everything be explained with solely faith, or science alone. I'd rather be a fool than a cynic.

If everything conformed to what people determine to be 'rational', 'logical', and 'empirical', then life would be rather dreary now, wouldn't it? And think about it, a lot of things in rational, logical, empirical science are theories. A theory is defined as such: A proposed explanation whose status is still conjectural, in contrast to well-established propositions that are regarded as reporting matters of actual fact. Some scientific theories require us to take a step out of our comfort zones, or a step of faith, if you will, to accept it. You don't see gravity, but you trust that it will do the job of pulling you back to earth when you jump. And yes, it is called the theory of gravitation.

Don't get me wrong now. I am all for science, and logic, and empirical evidence, and the like. But just because I am an advocate of the scientific method doesn't make me a mutually exclusive subscriber to it. I think there is room, in all our lives, for the natural, and the preternatural. To take it one step further, I think we need both the natural, and the preternatural in our lives. After all, isn't balance the key to life?

In my humble opinion, it is easier to explain something than to see the preternatural at work. To me, the divine can be so subtle that we may overlook it. But I want to have space in my life to recognize what I feel is the divine. What people call coincidences, I call divine appointments. To me, that makes life easier to live; that Someone out there is looking out for little old me, than the random occurrence of one out of the billions of permutations that could have occurred.

It has been said, that we humans have a god-sized void that nothing else can fill. That's perhaps why many people are looking for something as elusive, as ephemeral as the divine, the preternatural. To me, it doesn't exactly matter what god you choose to fill that void with. But I think it is a better life to live if we have a little faith, a little hope in our lives. Yes, science doesn't explain everything, and yes, faith doesn't explain everything either. People may think that it is too ridiculous to try to attribute incomprehensible things to the divine, or it is too convenient to ascribe divinity to things that we can explain using other more 'rational' methods. But the way I see it, the divine may be above reason, but it is not beyond reason. Otherwise, it wouldn't be 'divine' now, would it?

I sure hope that you noticed, that I am not making a case for any particular religion, or anything. I am merely stating, in generic terms, what I feel about the preternatural and divine. I just think that the acceptance of the supernatural can, and should, go hand in hand with the natural. I feel that we all need to believe in something greater than ourselves, whether we choose to acknowledge that or not. We all need a sense of awe, of splendor, of glory, and of whimsy.

To make a rather poor analogy, if science were the shades black and white, then faith would be the colours. Mixing the two would not make either lesser, but rather, each would be enhanced by the other. Blind 'faith', without rationality and logic, is without depth. But rationality and logic, without faith, is monochromatic, and frankly, quite dull. Shades, and colours exist whether you see them or not, whether you choose to see them or not.

Just don't lose sight of the shades and colours of your world.

Retro Kick!

So, I have been on a retro kick recently. Downloading tonnes of Sega Genesis (remember that?) games. Nothing beats retro video games! Classics like Sonic, Comix Zone, and my personal favourite, Earthworm Jim! Reliving my childhood, since there's nothing much going on for me in terms of my future.... yet... New week, new hopes though! Got to remain positive.

Back to reality

I am on the cusp of completing my first ever In Camp Training (ICT) and it has been an....... interesting experience, to say the least. But come Monday, I am going to be dumped back into reality. And my reality is that, I am STILL looking for a job.

Oh, the feeling of my cold harsh reality.

Combat shoot

Just got home after my combat shoot at the range today. This is perhaps the most tiring day of the entire ICT so far; so much so that I can only write this much.

PF Flyers for life

Was out the whole day messing around and running about, and at the end of the day, I realised that my feet did not hurt as much as they used to hurt after a day of wearing Converses. And this is thanks to my new love, PF Flyers. I've got the Bob Cousy Hi All American, in white leather. Sweet. I have found my anti-Converses! PF Flyers for life!

I am off

Sorry if I offend, but this is my stop and I am getting off your Silliness Express. Next stop, Heartbreak Hotel at Wrecked Emotions Station. I'd like to think that I have been trying my best. Well, perhaps the only consolation is that if you need me, I'd take the next train down to you.

But this is my stop.

Here.

Now.

The way you move, ain't fair you know.

Strength

Aren't we humans funny?

At least for me, I feel that I am such a bag of contradictions. It is as though both push and pull exist simultaneously in my life.

We know, and we accept that we as humans are not perfect. But when other people's flaws come to light, we focus on those flaws and are unable to look past those flaws to who the person really is. We distract ourselves from the fact that the person may, and most likely have redeeming qualities.

But when it comes to ourselves, when our flaws are brought to our attention, somehow we can't stand it. We begin to try to justify the things that we do, we try to cover the faults with our (most probably unrelated) strengths, we try to brush it off, we try everything we can; we even try to point out that imperfection is inherent in everyone; no one's perfect.

Somehow, we can try to accept imperfection in ourselves, but not in others.

But the fact of the matter is this: We still feel very much uncomfortable with the notion that we are flawed, that we are not perfect. It is one thing to have knowledge that everyone is imperfect; yet it is another thing to experience it in ourselves, and have it brought to the attention of ourselves, and the people around.

A recent revelation of mine: Strength is much valued in the world, but it is our weaknesses that make us reliant on something other than ourselves for strength. We know we are imperfect, yet we want to rely on our own strengths. But it is exactly because we are imperfect that we cannot rely on our own strengths, however strong those may be.

Some times, we really can't make it on our own. Some times, merely admitting that we need help is the greatest strength that we can have. Some times, it's good to know someone stronger than us.

So, where do you turn to when you know that you can't exactly rely on your own strength?

When I am weak, then I am strong. II Corinthians 12:9-10

Breaking out of the cycle

When can we all break out of the cycles that hold us down, those downward spirals that have us trapped?

Go on

Do you:

do things in such a way to uplift people, make them feel good?

Or:

Do things in such a way to cause them to feel lousy about themselves?

Sometimes, people mask the latter with terms such as 'tough love', or 'honesty is the best policy', or 'I need to let the person understand.', or 'I am doing this for his/her own good.', and assorted sayings, are mere justifications, in my books. I know I am not a saint, that I am guilty of the above justifications as well, very much guilty. Afterall, I am only human, and boy, do I have shortcomings. But at the very least, I try not to take pride in doing so.

The fact is this: In everything, yes, EVERYTHING, you can choose to uplift people. All the above could be achieved as well, if not even better, if done right. Love? Check. Honesty? check. Make someone understand? Check. For their own good? Check. I wonder how we got to a point where we think that causing people to feel bad is good for them.

It's simple, really. It really doesn't take much to find the silver lining in every cloud. No matter what is going on, there is a silver lining, something good that can be found and said. It just requires a shift of perspective. And a tonne of patience and self-control not to react to your negative feelings, that's all. Like I said, simple. But not easy.

On a somewhat related note, since when has complimenting someone, praising someone become so unnatural? It is one thing to pay flippant compliments, or insincere ones, or compliments just so that you can gain something out of it. But yet, in the midst of avoiding coming across as 'glib', or 'smooth', or manipulative, I think we have lost the art of really paying people sincere, heartfelt, no-strings-attached compliments.

I am sure everyone has enough of the world telling them that they are not good enough, that they are unworthy. So go on, do something different, and make someone feel good today.

ROY jeans

Alrighty, just put in my order for a pair of ROY denim's 5 pocket jeans. My first 'Made in US' jeans, with American denim, and entirely handmade by one single person to boot! Can't wait. First pair of the year, not that I need any more.

So, I have just entered into a pact with Feli, and by proxy, you -4 million readers of my blog:

I will NOT buy any more jeans until 2 years later, July 2012.
EDIT: PACT CAN BE BROKEN, AND IS ABOUT TO BE....

Now, this year was chosen for a special reason: If the world ends in 2012, as so many people are saying, then I don't need a pair of jeans, or any clothes for that matter. If the world doesn't end in 2012, which is contrary to what many people are saying, then I get to celebrate by buying a new pair of jeans, if I so desire. (In case you didn't get it, I just used a literary device called "sarcasm" in that little sentence above, about the world ending in 2012. Please, I don't know when the world is going to end, and neither does anyone.) .

Lousy Blogger

So, quite evidently to those who frequent my blog (yeah, you -4 million people. Yes, NEGATIVE 4 million people, because nobody comes to my blog), you will have noticed something different about my little corner on the Internetzzzz... Yes, you got it on the first try: I changed the flavour of pizza. This situation calls for a Sarc-Mark.

Anyway, I was just experimenting with the new templates that Blogger offers. Well, guess what? I can't get back my old template anymore. So I decided to stick with this plain and (I like to think) minimalistic template. If it hurts your eyes, blame Blogger. Good night world, not that you care.

Something broke

Something broke
But you didn't know
Time, and life flows on
But caught in amber
Like pristine glass
But cobwebbed and broken
Used to be part of my world
But torn now with a widening chasm
Like a rock, or a great big oak
But now like wind, like smoke
Something broke
But you can't see
Maybe like this, it's meant to be
But maybe, just maybe.

Wilderness

That dry acrid air
That mind-numbing routine
That endless walk
That lack of purpose
That loss of destination
That fading hope
That tired soul
That despairing heart

And yet, a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

PBJ hot soak

So, I decided to give my PBJs a hot soak. Boiling water now. Carry on with your life.

Tomorrow

Maybe things will get better when I get up tomorrow.

Doors

Doors.
Opening.
And closing.
And opening.
And closing.
Just need one, just one to stay open.
The right one.
Opening.
And closing.

Another pair of jeans?

So, I am getting super excited... My favourite brand of jeans, Eternal, is going to come up with a collaboration/contest jeans with Blue in Green and I can't wait! Hahaha. Is this going to be my new pair of jeans? I sure hope so. Let's see.

Edit: Too rich for my blood. Changing my sights to something less pricey. ROY jeans

How much longer must I wait? How much longer must I keep positive? How much longer, can anyone tell me?

Back

Got my jeans back from Winning Tailor... Got them back earlier than expected. Repaired the pockets on the 811s, and preventive work done to pre-empt a crotch blowout on the PBJs... :) I think any more work I need on my jeans in the future, I will stick with them. Good work done, although the colour of the threads didn't really match up. But the repairs were well done, in my opinion. And the uncle and auntie are so friendly! :D Major plus point! Oh well, now, I have to think about which pair to wear out... :P

One pair of jeans

So, yesterday was a rather interesting day. Went down to Peninsular to try out another tailor (Winning Tailor) as 2 of my jeans needed repairs.. Total cost: $35, but the uncle was nice enough to charge me only $30 after my pathetic attempt to ask for a discount. He then thought that Ting Ting, who was with me, was my girlfriend, as I didn't have cash and she had to pay for the repairs first. Poor Ting Ting. :P But the uncle is nice, let's see how his work measures up. So, with those repairs that will take 2 weeks or more, now I have only one pair of jeans to rely on. Can I do it? I hope so.

Next, we tried our hands at bowling. It's like only my 3rd or 4th attempt at bowling, and we did rather well! I lost the first set to her, 58 to 54 methinks but I came back with a vengeance. Next set, I won 102 to 70-something. :P First time in triple digits. Not too bad eh? So at the end of the day we drew even in terms of sets won. But I still win in pin falls! Bowling is fun, if not for the cost. Shoes, and 2 games ran like $10 per person. Too rich for my blood.

Sleep

Sleep, that blissful realm of possibilities,
that peaceful oblivion
A place where colours are dulled,
yet more vibrant than the rainbow
The darkness sears your eyes,
and the light cannot reach you
You meet monsters, and lovers
Sometimes one and the same
You cry honey sweet tastes,
and laugh gall bitter sounds
Nothing makes sense,
and that makes the most sense of all
Anything is achievable,
yet you are utterly helpless
You dictate the terms,
but are swept away in the tide
You remember everything,
and open your eyes to forget it all
You wake up screaming,
and yet crave for her embrace again
Sleep, that cruel cruel mistress,
that strange strange lover.

But I am not

If only I were brave,
I'd say what's on my mind
If only I were brave,
I'd share what's in my heart
If only I were brave,
I'd dare to try to fly
If only I were brave,
I'd step out on a limb
If only I were brave,
I'd care less about what people thought
If only I were brave,
I'd be someone I liked more
If only I were brave,
I'd have less regrets, more memories
If only I were brave,
I'd sleep better at night
If only I were brave,
the world would be my playground
If only I were brave,
I'd dare to live my life more
If only I were brave,
I'd take what's mine, and to hell with the consequences
But I am not.

This is me

This is me, according to a South Park avatar generator...

Use somebody

Need you now

Pile up on AYE... Almost

So, I was driving down AYE, on the way to pick my mummy up, when suddenly the car in front of me jammed on his brakes (and one of his brake lights spoil somemore) and I had to stomp on mine as well. Well, I.... managed to stop in time, with space to spare. So, as I have a habit to do so, I observed what was going on behind me in the rearview mirror, to protect myself by being prepared (and also with a morbid curiosity that something may happen), and the car behind me managed to stop in time as well. So, again, I have a habit to move forward a little bit just in case the car behind me needed more space to stop and as I was moving forward, the car behind me got hit and got pushed to the front a bit. With that, I avoided being in a pile up on the AYE by mere inches! Whew!

Thinking about it, however, I realised that that habit of moving forward wasn't the smartest thing to do. See, if I didn't move forward, and get hit, I would be the first car in the pile up, and I wouldn't have to pay for any damages. But if I moved forward, and the car behind still couldn't stop in time, I would have hit the car in front of me, and I would have to pay for that! Moreover, both my back AND front would be smushed! I wouldn't want that now, wouldn't I? Well, lesson for the day, drive safe kiddies!

Come to pass

'A fighter.' 'Double portion.' Those words sent a shiver down my spine, and goosebumps all over. Let it come to pass.

Surreal

Had a dream, the most truthful, emotionally charged, high intensity, 'say-what's-really-in-your-heart' kind of dream. It's funny how the stuff that doesn't get said in real life, can be said in a dream. People often say how dreams are the opposite of reality; but in this dream, I sincerely felt and believed everything I said. And no, it's not about girls, and love, and whatnot. Then, as most dreams go, it devolved into this weird creepy stuff that don't make any sense. Like a person trapped in reflective surfaces and only shows her head because there are chickens growing out of her neck, and a collapsing playground inside an apartment. Surreal.

Daffodils

Daffodils dancing in the wind,
The Chesire Cat without his grin.
Caught in the twilight of a dream,
rather fantasy than what reality deems.
Falling over without a fight,
Losing light, and losing sight.
Walk down again, that same old path,
Leave words unspoken, of such a dearth.
Oh, how must have Sisyphus felt,
with that same hand, Life has dealt.
Daffodils, daffodils, behind my back,
Laced with qualms, filled with lack.

100 years

Red

Small and insignificant

Trying to have a wider perspective of things, and finally understanding that one is not the center of the universe, that the world is a huge place, can make one feel so small and insignificant at times.

But with You by my side, suddenly the world doesn't seem so big and intimidating after all.

One touch

Some times, one touch is all you need. And all you need to do is to seek that one touch again and again.

Only believe

Mark 5:35-40

God may not be early, but He is always on time; even when from our perspective, He is utterly late.

Mark 5:36 '... "Do not be afraid; only believe."'

Sometimes, things happen for a reason. Faith, at times, means not only do you believe in the "healing of the little girl", but also the 'resurrection of the little girl'. Just because a miracle "didn't" happen doesn't mean that nothing is going to happen. Perhaps something greater is in store.

Do not be afraid; only believe.

Eternal 883

I don't care if it seems inane, or if it seems like over-the-top consumerism, or if it sounds ridiculously wasteful, because I need a new pair of jeans like I need a slit in the wrist. But I want a pair of Eternal 883!!! Good thing the Japanese Yen is so strong right now, and also the fact that I have no disposable income, or any income for that matter, at the moment.

King of wishful thinking - Go West

10 more days

10 more days. Hurry hurry. I want to get on with my life.

Passion

'What excites you? What is your passion? What drives you?' I just had these questions posed to me at my first interview for a job, at City College. And guess what? I got stuck at these questions and started talking gibberish. Great way to perform in my first interview... Sheesh.

But more than that, I realised something. That come to think of it, I don't really have something in particular that I am absolutely passionate about... Well, nothing that really matters. I could say 'jeans' but that is just ridiculous.

If nothing else came out of the interview, at least it got me thinking: What is my passion in life? What excites me? What drives me? I was tempted in the interview to say money, but the truth is, I am not that materialistic. I like to think that there is more to me than just such a shallow aspect.

I guess I have got much soul searching, and self examination, to do. I need to find myself, be comfortable with myself, and settle within myself, 'What is my passion?' The road to self-discovery looks to me right now, to be long and winding.

Heartless

I like this video, only because the drawings are cool. If only I could draw like that. Hahaha. I don't particularly like The Fray's cover of Heartless though. I think they do their own songs much better.

Job seeking

Okay. So after 'graduating' from school, the next step, after slacking, is to start looking for a job. Now, it's not as easy as it looks. Here are some easy steps to get you going...

First, you have got to find the motivation and the drive to get off your butt to do something. Done? Now, get off your butt and do something RELATED to looking for a job....

Second, now that we are on the same page, this is very important. Listen carefully now. Take a look at your contacts, people that you know, and see... Who has the most potential? To take all the complaining and whining that 'studying is much more fun,' or how 'I don't know what to do with my life,' or 'I just want to relax first,' or related nonsense.

Third, whine to the person with the most potential, preferably someone who is in the same boat as you, until they can't take anymore of your nonsense. Then move on to the next most potential person. Continue as much as needed.

Fourth, being mentally prepared is of utmost importance. Be prepared that people around you, especially your well-meaning family, are going to ask you when you are going to start looking for a job and stop whiling your time away. Be prepared with witty repartees like, 'I am just gathering myself up so that I can be the next President of Singapore,' or the like. That will leave them speechless and you have achieved your aim, to silence them.

As you can see, currently I am in the midst of looking for a job, which is the most natural step to take, now that I have officially finished my studies. The problem is, or rather, the problems are, I don't know what I can do, or what I would like to do. My resume is not up yet, although I will get started on it real soon (I promise) and I am running out of energy being bored at home with nothing to do.

So, I guess it's time to really start getting down to work and start taking an interest in my future. Wish me all the best in my job hunt. I will start tomorrow....

Irony

Isn't it ironic...

That the most precious things, are often the ones we neglect?
That contentment, which is found in the simple things, are often complicated by us?
That the more you want something, the more elusive it get?
That the less you want something, the more it appears in your life?
That the opinions of strangers matter more than those close to you?
That you hurt the ones you love the most, and treat outsiders with utmost respect?
That you don't miss your water until the well runs dry?
That you can't look people straight in the eye unless you are trying to lie?
That talk is cheap but sometimes, words can leave such deep scars?
That when people say that the outside shouldn't matter and yet take notice of it?
That only in the deepest, darkest night, can a light shine the brightest?

No?

New year

So, it's the new year; a fresh slate, on which we can dictate and control what is going to be written on it. A start of something new, and what better way to start the new year that hearing a reminder to look ahead, and not look at things past? (thank you so much, Pst Tan! =D) So, this year is going to be awesome!

While I still have to write out and plan my new year resolutions, this is a general feeling that I have for this year: It is going to be a year of seeking, and exploring, and discovery, and exciting things! But this will only come about when I have the discipline and tenacity to stick to the things that I am supposed to do.

Quite a number of people have commented to me, at various stages of my life, that they reckon I am a rather disciplined and determined individual and me knowing myself best, I would have to disagree. If only people could see how easily I give up, how little discipline I have, they wouldn't have said that. Ha! But identifying the problem is always a good start to dealing with it, no?

So, here's to a great 2010, the start of a new year, and a new decade, and incidentally, a new phase of my life. May this year bring more discipline, more tenacity, more determination, more faith, and more breakthroughs! I speak into you, 2010, be blessed!