Hi, I am Jeremy and I am a shopaholic

Hi, I am Jeremy and I am a shopaholic. The first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting that you have a problem. I just blew more money on clothes and the scary part is that I am able to justify my purchase.
Somehow, all the blame can't be placed on me. I went out with yan again today to shop and saw many many nice things! :) Especially nice checkered shirts. Another of my weaknesses, with jeans being the other.
I saw a nice one from Maiden Noir, a Seattle-based brand carried at Know It Nothing at Haji Lane, another at Queen's Couture at Heeren. But they all ran at much more than $200 per shirt and to me, that is too much to pay for a shirt. Jeans perhaps but not a shirt. Because you can wear the same jeans for months on end but not a shirt. :)
So anyway, I finally saw a nice checkered shirt by Carhartt. I have heard about this brand but had no idea about the quality and all that. But trying it on and feeling the fabric, and at less than $100, I felt that it was a worthwhile buy.
So here I am, rationalizing that this would be my last buy of the year and this would at the same time be my New Year clothes. :) And I am starting to think that it's not solely my fault that I am a shopaholic. Yan was with me both times I splurged on clothes. Hmmm...
Anyway, just a side note. I just met one of the most ungracious girl I have ever seen. Yan and I were on the MRT when yan lost her balance and accidentally stepped on the foot of a girl who was sitting with her boyfriend. Yan was so apologetic and felt so bad but the girl just turned away from us, leaned against her boyfriend and complained. Good thing her boyfriend was gracious to accept the apology. And I think that she was more concerned with her pedicure than it was painful. She totally ignored yan in a compartment full of people.
I feel that no matter how painful it is, you should just accept the apology. It was not an insincere apology at all and I am not being biased. Everyone could see that yan felt bad. And it was definitely not done on purpose. What a lousy person you are, whoever you are. Shame on you.
And yan, if you are reading, I have to mention this: NBT's Neo Bak Zhang!!!! :P

An ode

This post is dedicated to the most giving, the most sacrificial, the most generous person in my life, my mother! Everyone would say that their mum is the best but my mum is better than all others! Hahaha. I just realised that my mum is very giving of herself, to the point where others may have just turned their backs and given up. She makes me feel that I could be a better person, and makes me want to be a better person for her sake. Many things I don't need to state here but I know it in my heart that makes her the most noble person in my life. So, here's my attempt at an ode to her.

The most precious thing in the world is neither silver nor gold,
But a mother's sacrifice, a mother's giving, a mother's hold.
When the days become tough and the nights become long,
A mother's love stays strong and keeps us going on.
Asking for nothing in return but pouring out all,
Just so I can stand up strong and proud and not fall.
Even when it's difficult to go on, difficult to love,
Still she puts herself right as the last, and puts us first.
The most precious thing in the world is neither silver nor gold,
But a mother's love, of width, depth and breadth untold.

I am blessed

Just spent Xmas helping my mum pack the storeroom. Actually, didn't help a lot also. But at least we cleared out a lot of stuff. But somehow, the storeroom still looks packed. So anyway, while clearing out the storeroom, I had to look through many boxes of my old toys. And boy, do I have loads of toys. Especially Ninja Turtle toys. Hahaha. Used to love those guys. Picking through the boxes, many memories of my childhood surfaced. Like how I played with those toys. And how easily they way I played with them came back to me. Fun and innocent times. But still, I had to harden my heart and throw out a lot of stuff.
I realised that not to be a packrat, we have to really harden our hearts and throw away stuff that may have sentimental value to us. All the toys really brought back memories and throwing them away is akin to throwing away the memories. But then again, keeping them in the storeroom for 10 years is also like losing those memories for 10 years, because we never even knew those things were still in there until today. It's hard to put into words but people who have to throw their things out will understand.
But even as we approach the end of the year, and I had to help in the packing, this reminds me of how I have to stay grateful. Looking at the toys that I have, I really have to be grateful that I have great parents who dote on me. I have everything I could want in terms of material possessions. But more than just material possessions, I am just thankful for my family. I can't help but acknowledge, I am blessed.

Body clock

Holidays have a way of making my body clock so messed up. Normal school days, I am able to function with perhaps 6 hours of sleep? Now during the holidays, I can't seem to function with even 10 hours of sleep! And I have been staying up late every night, or rather early every morning, and messing up my body clock. And holidays have also a knack of making me put on weight. No motivation at all to exercise the slightest bit. Hahaha. Fat and lazy, that's me for you during the holidays. How on earth do people enjoy their holidays?

Count your blessings

Sometimes, it takes something negative to open your eyes to positive things. Just like how it takes losing something to realise it's worth. Or how death makes you realise how precious life is, with all the blessings that you have in life.
I do feel that I am blessed in many many ways but sometimes, one can't help but to magnify small problems and issues into gargantuan ones without realising how petty these things are. Maybe it's being too self centered. But one's problems are always the most difficult ones... Until your eyes are open to other people.
Just came back from a funeral wake. And a bagful of mixed feelings. In Chinese, there is a term, '心酸' (don't know if I got the words right) which basically translates to 'sour heart' or heartache. I feel that the Chinese term is more representative of the emotion. Just feel very '心酸' about life and death.
Life is so fragile, and it is very true, some thing that I read once. 'Life ends for the dead when they die, but leaves the alive to mourn and cry.' Or something to that effect. So while it is still light, make haste and count your blessings. Don't wait until darkness falls to mourn for the loss of light. Love fiercely, and be loved fiercely.

One step forward...

It's quite a depressing feeling, to think that you have taken one step forward and after a while, realise that you have taken two steps back as well. Not only are you not at the original point, but you are now at a place of negative value. If that's the case, how are you going to move forward? Another step forward means that you are at the original starting point but moving two steps backwards again brings you to... a place of even more negative value. So trying to move forward means that you merely make your standing more and more negative. So what's the point?

过眼云烟

This is the first time ever I used Chinese as the title of my posts! Hahaha. But I find this idiom very apt for what I am feeling right now. 过眼云烟 basically means 'clouds and smoke passing before one's eyes'. Or to put it more poetically, it means, 'passing cloud, fleeting smoke'. Somehow, the poetic version seems to capture some of the essence of the idiom. What it is trying to convey is a sense of transience, of impermanence.
People always ask me, why I am so closed up and 'mysterious'. I think I know why now. Change happens all the time, be it big or small. I can handle the small changes but not the big ones. When we move on from one station of life to another, we leave behind certain relationships, certain people. No relationship will not change with change. Perhaps that's why I avoid opening up. The more I open up, the more I feel emotional when the relationship changes. The more emotional I feel, the more I want to open up.
You see, opening up requires a certain vulnerability, a certain conceding to the ravages of change. And it's difficult for me to open up precisely because of that. People can say that they will keep in touch, that they will remember you. But in the end, there's no escaping the brutal truth; people do change and there's no stopping that. There's no blame to be attributed to anyone or anything; that's just the way it is.
And that is why I am so guarded, to the point of exasperation to my friends and people around me. Perhaps I should learn to live in the present and enjoy every moment I have rather than to live in the past or even focus at the future. But I can't help it. Somehow, this feeling of '过眼云烟' doesn't strike you until some triggers kick it off.
Ting ting and Jia jia told me yesterday that next semester would likely be the last semester we would have together. Suddenly, everything kicked in. Nothing will be the same again. Time would pass so quickly that the semester would be over before we know it. I started thinking. So many people around are heading to UB in the States to finish up their degree. That leaves a huge, huge gaping hole in school. School would just become that much colder. Friends have a knack of filling up a gap in our lives and yet at the same time, are able to leave a huge vacuum as well. It's the classic push and pull.
So, a thought to leave you all with: Hang on to the good times you have in the present; just not too tight that you can't let go when the future arrives.

Denime XX type raw

So, today's a fruitful day for me! Went shopping with yan and had a good time talking to her. We should so do this more often yan, if you are reading. :P Anyway, a new shop in town, ARC, just opened and they sell Japanese denim!!! Awesome brands like Fullcount, Omnigod and Denime. And they were having a 30% off sale for a limited time only and I HAD to go check it out. And in the end, I left with a pair of Denime XX type raw. The price was too good on these!!! My first pair of STFs (shrink to fit). I sized one down to account for stretching and me losing weight as I am not planning to wear them anytime soon. Although it is not the cut I am looking for, I think that a roomier jeans would be a nice addition to my slimmer jeans. Once again, the price was too good on these... :P
ARC's prices for Japanese denim are extremely reasonable and those into raw denim should go check them out. According to the owner Paul who was there when I got the jeans, they carry only one size per pair so hurry hurry down to take advantage of the sale! The Omnigod straights looked yummy as well and don't even talk about Fullcount. Almost got a Fullcount #1108 but decided on Denime. Partly because the Paul passed me the wrong pair of Fullcounts to try on and couldn't be bothered to try anymore. Hahaha.
ARC is located at Esplanade where the tatami shop used to be at. Go check it out! The staff are nice and the girl serving is quite cute as well! ;P Nice people, awesome denim. Don't wait any longer!
P.S. Oh, and ARC carries Kicking Mule Workshop as well, for those who like a more 'fashiony' fit to their jeans.

'Nua' day

nua [nu-ah] (adjective): Soft
nua [nu-ah] (verb): Lazing around

What a day. Today's weather is perfect to be nua-ing around the house, with nothing to do. Well, I HAD something to do before I has nothing to do. But cancelled last minute. Oh well. And I was supposed to be exercising but I spent the whole day in bed or on the couch. Have to exercise later. Was supposed to go to the library to borrow some books but I nua-ed the whole day away. Today is a nua day! Hahaha. I am lying down so much, and not enough blood is going to my head; that's why I sound delirious. :P No idea whatsoever what I am writing about. =S And and and, I want more jeans!!! Hahaha. Whatever.

Cutting down

I just realised that I am such a spend thrift. Right after the exams, my allowance is slipping through my fingers like water through a sieve. This is not a good sign. Have to start monitoring my spending and start saving whatever little that I have. Simple meals, no more clothes (especially Threadless tees), try to save on parking and petrol by taking public transport, stop looking at jeans (at least until the yen drops =P). Having fun these past two days have cost me a bomb. :( The economy is not good right now. Talk of this period being the 2nd Great Depression and whatnot. Scary stuff. But then again, we should all do our part in stirring up the economy... by exercising our purchasing power! Hahaha. Anyway, I have already claimed recession proofing today! So, no worries! :D But still must be wise with my money. I am a steward, not an owner.