Hello Spring, Goodbye Winter

Hello Spring, and goodbye Winter.
Into a new season do I enter.
No more cold, dark and gloomy days.
Time to put a smile back on my face.
I learned to wait, I learned to trust.
You are on time, not too slow, never too fast.
Remind me to stay grateful, and keep You in mind,
In the best of times, and when stuck in a bind.
And in every season teach me never to forget,
Your garment of praise, for my cloth of sack.

Keep my heart

Oh, that You would keep my heart
And lay out my paths even before I start
You guide every step that I am about to take
Teach me to know truth from the fake
Give me the strength to remember Your heart
Through the wilderness, fire and flood
Help me to recognize Your voice
In the midst of all of life's noise
Let me know that You are always there
When I am weighed down by all my cares
On Your face may my focus continually be
Show me all that You want me to see
Bring to remembrance, help me keep in mind
That Your thoughts and ways are not like mine
In spite my weaknesses I still can stay strong
Help my unbelief though the road seems so long
At the springs of Marah, there I shall not dwell
But take me to the rivers of life, a bubbling well
Let me not be choked by thorny ground
But in Your presence, always, may I be found
A new beginning, fresh oil, and a new touch
Thank You Lord, thank you so much

Philippians 1:6 "being confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"

Hands

Hands, strong hands that hold me tight
That because of my weaknesses help me fight
Hands, strong hands that shelter me from harm
From the storms, and the fire, and the floods that come
Hands, gentle hands that guide me back to the path
when I wander from it, and the ground beneath become rough
Hands, gentle hands that hold onto me with love undeserved
That feed me when I hunger, and water me when I thirst
Hands, firm hands that chasten and correct but never hurt
So that one day I can be free, and fly as high as a bird
Hands, firm hands that grasp mine tightly as tight can be
That work from behind the scenes, for no one but me to see

Something broke

Something broke
But you didn't know
Time, and life flows on
But caught in amber
Like pristine glass
But cobwebbed and broken
Used to be part of my world
But torn now with a widening chasm
Like a rock, or a great big oak
But now like wind, like smoke
Something broke
But you can't see
Maybe like this, it's meant to be
But maybe, just maybe.

Sleep

Sleep, that blissful realm of possibilities,
that peaceful oblivion
A place where colours are dulled,
yet more vibrant than the rainbow
The darkness sears your eyes,
and the light cannot reach you
You meet monsters, and lovers
Sometimes one and the same
You cry honey sweet tastes,
and laugh gall bitter sounds
Nothing makes sense,
and that makes the most sense of all
Anything is achievable,
yet you are utterly helpless
You dictate the terms,
but are swept away in the tide
You remember everything,
and open your eyes to forget it all
You wake up screaming,
and yet crave for her embrace again
Sleep, that cruel cruel mistress,
that strange strange lover.

But I am not

If only I were brave,
I'd say what's on my mind
If only I were brave,
I'd share what's in my heart
If only I were brave,
I'd dare to try to fly
If only I were brave,
I'd step out on a limb
If only I were brave,
I'd care less about what people thought
If only I were brave,
I'd be someone I liked more
If only I were brave,
I'd have less regrets, more memories
If only I were brave,
I'd sleep better at night
If only I were brave,
the world would be my playground
If only I were brave,
I'd dare to live my life more
If only I were brave,
I'd take what's mine, and to hell with the consequences
But I am not.

Daffodils

Daffodils dancing in the wind,
The Chesire Cat without his grin.
Caught in the twilight of a dream,
rather fantasy than what reality deems.
Falling over without a fight,
Losing light, and losing sight.
Walk down again, that same old path,
Leave words unspoken, of such a dearth.
Oh, how must have Sisyphus felt,
with that same hand, Life has dealt.
Daffodils, daffodils, behind my back,
Laced with qualms, filled with lack.

Lesson learnt

I have learnt,
not to take things too seriously
because life is too short to be so uptight
I have learnt,
not to be so picky and anal about things,
because it only harms and never helps
I have learnt,
that what matters is
both the destination and the journey
I have learnt,
that no one man is an island
and that together, we are an army
I have learnt,
that I should appreciate more,
and judge less, much much less
I have learnt,
what profits a man to gain the whole word,
but to lose his own soul, and the people around
I have learnt,
that I should live in the moment,
cherish the past and look towards the future
I have learnt,
that we should live life striving for no regrets,
and let go of those things that we do regret
I have learnt,
that relationships are precious,
and I need to put in more effort to maintain them
I have learnt,
and you have taught me that.

The hardest thing

The hardest gift to give,
is one that is unrequited.
The hardest gift to keep,
is one that is likely to be rejected.
The hardest gift to receive,
is one that is undeserved.
The hardest gift to have,
is one that is the most beneficial.
The hardest gift to look at,
is the one that will never be noticed.
The hardest gift to hold,
is the one in your hands as you wait.
The hardest thing to do,
is to linger just outside your sight.
Am I even seen?

Would you?

Would you miss me if I were gone?
Would you think of me when they play that song?
Would you even know that I have left?
Would you even mourn my death?
Would you stay, if I asked you not to leave?
Would you need me to beg and say please?
Would you even cast a glance my way?
Would you speak to me, what would you say?
Would you even know that I exist?
Would you even get to read this?

An ode

This post is dedicated to the most giving, the most sacrificial, the most generous person in my life, my mother! Everyone would say that their mum is the best but my mum is better than all others! Hahaha. I just realised that my mum is very giving of herself, to the point where others may have just turned their backs and given up. She makes me feel that I could be a better person, and makes me want to be a better person for her sake. Many things I don't need to state here but I know it in my heart that makes her the most noble person in my life. So, here's my attempt at an ode to her.

The most precious thing in the world is neither silver nor gold,
But a mother's sacrifice, a mother's giving, a mother's hold.
When the days become tough and the nights become long,
A mother's love stays strong and keeps us going on.
Asking for nothing in return but pouring out all,
Just so I can stand up strong and proud and not fall.
Even when it's difficult to go on, difficult to love,
Still she puts herself right as the last, and puts us first.
The most precious thing in the world is neither silver nor gold,
But a mother's love, of width, depth and breadth untold.

The Forever Loner

The Forever Loner stands at the corner of the street,
watching people going places, with faces to meet.
Bustling, bustling, they all pass him by,
who would care if he lives or if he dies?
The roads, streets and paths he must take alone,
the steps he takes are no one else's but his own.
His hands can only take hold onto air and nothing more,
no one to walk with him through gates, arches and doors.
The stars above his head drip light so cold,
nothing comes out of his heart but a dark, dark flow.
To the whole world he puts on a front, a facade,
close to his chest he holds and plays his cards.
The Forever Loner walks along the street,
watching people going places, with faces to meet.
Bustling, bustling they walk alongside and pass,
not caring if he is ashes, or if he is dust.

Teach me.

Teach me, how to love and how to be loved,
To be as wise as a serpent and meek like a dove.
To be strong as a lion but also a gentle lamb,
To know what to let flow and what to dam.
Teach me to be unafraid and oh-so bold,
Refine me in the fire, just like purified gold.
Wash me clean, white like pristine snow.
Strengthen me, my spirit, body and soul.
Teach me to look not to the left nor right,
Make me a peacekeeper who knows when to fight.
But most of all, on top of everything and right above,
Teach me first, how to love and how to be loved.

Losing it

I'm losing it once more
Lying down on the floor
Can't seem to find the reason why
At the crossroads and there is no sign
Stuck in limbo, neither here nor there
It hurts so bad, my foot in a snare
Almost gave up without a fight
My flame's a flickering, flickering light
Tired, so tired but I just can't sleep
Lost in my thoughts; they run so deep
A vacuum inside, an empty space
Nothing to look at but much to face
I feel I am no good, not good enough
Just like smoke, a wisp, a puff

Kairos timing

'To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.'

Everything has its kairos timing; no use rushing something nor delaying another thing. It will come to pass in its fullness. A flower blooms in its own time whether you want it to bloom faster or slower. The tide comes in and goes out with nary a thought about how you feel about it. So why hurry? Why rush? Enjoy the journey and the company. We all have to learn go with the flow and not force things.

If you feel like you are going under,
And your life seems torn asunder.
When you feel like you can't take no more,
and you have reached the rock bottom floor.
Just remember that there is no well too deep,
no wall too high nor hill too steep.
Just trust where His hand will lead,
to a place of rest, a place of sleep.
Everything is made perfect in its own time,
every song has its melody, every poem its rhyme.
Don't fight the current, the waves, the tide,
just sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Carpe diem, seize the moment and more so the day,
Enjoy the skies while it is blue and not regret when it turns grey.

A ray of light

I noticed a ray of light recently,
that appeared in places I least expect.
Always catching me by surprise
But there's nothing wrong with that.
When I try to search and seek
It appears to be far, far away, unable to attain
And just as I stop yearning
It comes out of the blue and I start over again
My heart beats in disarray
yet it brings a smile to my face,
However when I look in the mirror
I start to feel so out of place
Melancholy takes over
For something so beautiful can't possibly belong to me
For who can bottle a ray of light?
To keep for his eyes only to see
Am I destined to remain in the background?
For it does not know that I yearn
Even if for a fleeting second
For its glow that warms but does not burn
Can I do anything to ease the pain?
When in my own eyes I feel so small
A mountain to surmount, an ocean to cross
I feel like next to all these I am nothing at all
But still quietly I long for and patiently I wait
For a glimpse of perfection, for a touch of fate

Not one size fits all...

Life is not one size fits all.
At times some may soar and others fall.
No one can dictate the path you take.
Just be true to yourself; there's no need to fake.
Look at your hands and what do you find?
Use it to turn clear water into wine.
Gaze at the clouds and what do you see?
Some find a flower and some find a tree.
The path you take is long and winding.
But it is unique; you define it.
No one is born equal so what are you going to do?
Make the best of life or go crying boo hoo hoo?
It's all in your control so grab life by its horns.
You can make life a rose or many prickly thorns.

Does everything seem the same?
Are the motions real or has it become a game?
The mirror shows that everything is in place,
But does it show the turmoil beneath the face?
A cry from the depths, does anyone hear?
Its silent nature, past thresholds of the ear.
But everyone is caught up, no one can fathom.
The enveloping emptiness, the yawning chasm.
A swirling vortex sucks deeper than deep.
How much longer can one's strength keep?
Feelings and thoughts can hurt you the most.
Leave rubble behind and hundreds of ghosts.
Everything inside had turned into stone.
A field where nothing can be sown and grown.
Take none of the glory, take all of the blame,
Nothing is different, only the name.

I'm walking in circles,
Treading in the mud.
Here I am once again,
Stuck in the same old rut.
This place is all too familiar,
I've been here too many times before.
Now my resolve is battered and bruised,
And my spirit is all too sore.
My spring of my step has failed,
My hands have no strength left.
My soul is heavy and weary,
My heart yearns for a rest.
One moment at top of the world,
The apogee, the utmost peak.
The tide turned in a blink of an eye,
I end up in the valley deep.
Will water wash me clean?
Will the furnance refine?
Or will the heavens close upon me?
And the mountains start to deign?
Is there anything I can do?
Anything that I can say?
To break out of this vicious cycle,
To see the dawn of a new day?
Can things begin to change?
Can I make it through it all?
Can I have a second chance?
To avoid the drop, to avoid the fall?

Step into my world,
Feel free to take a peek.
What you find may surprise you,
What is it that you seek?
Could it be a desert,
Or just a single tree?
You may find a prison,
Or a land solely for the free.
You may leave with sadness,
Or you may depart with glee.
I hope that I can be presumptous,
With the words that I am going to say
There will never be a dull moment,
It will definitely be an interesting stay.
Now, poke your head around the corner,
There's no need to be shy.
Past all of the exterior,
I still laugh, I still cry.
I lay my head down,
And I start to dream.
Of mountains and of hills,
Of oceans and of streams.
So would you stay a moment,
If for nothing but to give me face.
It costs you nada to linger,
Only the time that you gave.