Get over yourself

Have you ever had the experience, that it is so difficult to talk to some people that you end up making a fool of yourself? You really want to have a good conversation with that particular person but somehow, the responses are less than warm, they seem to be only able to speak in one word sentences and their body language seems to be so closed up. You try to keep the conversation going but your best efforts go to nought. You find yourself blabbering like an idiot and saying stupid things. Soon, you run out of topics and the atmosphere just turns from cool to frosty. At that point, you realise that it is no longer wise to try to force the issue and you just give up. You wonder what is wrong with yourself and a vicious cycle begins. You try to make conversation with the person the next time you meet but it just gets worse and worse. The person just seems disinterested.

Then there are people you can tell your whole life story to. You just say 'hi' and soon the conversation runs into the hours. You can talk about anything and everything and even nothing at all. The person just engages you in the conversation and makes you feel comfortable. They are interested, warm and open in their body language. You don't have to purposefully think of topics to talk about and sound so forced and fake. Things just flow. Then a cycle starts. You want to talk to that person even more and the more you talk, the more comfortable you get and the more comfortable you get, the more you talk.

Then there are people who blow hot and cold so you don't know which way to go. They can talk to you like the people from the second category at times and at other times, represent the 'best' of the first category. You don't know what to think and how to deal with it. You feel that you are an blabbering idiot at times and at other times, you feel marginally like a friend. You are so confused. What do you do? A cycle starts as well. You try to determine which kind of person you are talking to. You try different methods. But it is not the methods you try. Everything is hit-or-miss. The exact same method used to get a conversation started before fails miserably. The failed attempt to get the conversation rolling the other time suddenly works! You don't know whether or not to get closer or just keep your distance.

Sometimes, political correct-ness gets tiring. One can't just go, 'I don't want to talk to you, get out of my breathing space.' Usually, people go, 'I am so polite that I am not going to outrightly chase you away but I am going to be so subtle about it that you just leave out of discomfort.' If you don't want to talk to a person, you should just say so. Cruel, perhaps. Cold, maybe. But it gets tiring to be always second guessing and trying to be likable to people who obviously can't connect with you. I am not so thick-skinned and thick-skulled that I enjoy slamming my head against the wall every time I talk to you. I don't want my head to get messed up anymore. Get over yourself, like how I am getting over you.