Another one of those nights...

Well, it's only a few minutes after Christmas and I spent Christmas in the fashion that I like best; quietly.. Couldn't sleep so was just randomly surfing the Net when this wave of melancholy just swept over me.. I realised that it is indeed lonely in this world.. When the dance is over, when the dust has settled and when the lights are turned off, what we have left over from the music, laughter and the masks is just an echo, a pale imitation of what we experienced.. Nothing more, nothing less..
I just suddenly realised how important it is to have someone to be there in times like these.. And guess what? I don't think I have found that person yet.. Who would be willing to listen to me ramble on about intangible and vague feelings of loss, of melancholy? Perhaps only one person in this whole wide world.. And that person is not in my life as of yet.. So I trudge on..
There has always been talk about having a hole in the heart, in the soul and I did not believe in this kind of talk until recently.. There seems to be a certain emptiness in my life, sonething that I can't fully describe.. Perhaps it is the longing for a soul mate.. Perhaps it is the longing for someone I can truly call a friend, a confidant..
People come and go in our lives.. People who come and stay will change.. I change as well.. Distances are bridged and distances are formed when people drift apart.. Like the rise and ebb of the tide, different seasons call for different people in life..
I used to think that I can get along with the almost any kind of people, that I am open minded and not judgemental.. Recent reflections are proving otherwise.. Have I become cynical? Have I become judgemental? I guess in a way..
I truly hope that beneath the veneer of what people see on the outside, there will be some to take time to get to know me more.. And I also hope that when they take that effort, they would find something worthwhile in me and they would choose to take me into their inner circles, as I would to them.. I don't need too many of these people; but with these people, I like to think that nothing would be too difficult, no one would seem too intimidating and that when the storms of life blow hard, there is a safe harbour to hide in..