The hopeless emptiness

Oh, the hopeless emptiness of the things that we do, and the ways we try to deceive ourselves. Isn't it ironic, that it takes an allegedly insane person to hit the nail on the head; that we all know that it is empty, the things that we do but we could never admit to ourselves that it is hopeless? Because once hope is gone, life is gone. Maybe he isn't insane afterall, maybe he just sees more than we admit to and acknowledges the fact. Unemcumbered by norms and rules because he sees the truth of things, he is free to express himself in whatever way he deems fit while the rest of us sheep continue to conform. This goes against 'proper form' and he is judged to be insane, to keep us comfortable and sedated and make us feel 'superior' to him. Conformity is king, at least that's what we think.

Irony

Irony: An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity.

Here I am, trying my darnest to study for an exam that seems to have no head or tail (COM 125, for those who have no idea what I am talking about), and I am struck with a strong sense of irony. I realised that our dear COM 125 lecturer preaches a growth mindset, of authetic learning wherein you grow as you learn and all that jazz but the way he is going to assess us in our finals is to make us memorize. Yes, memorize, the method that we are so used to in Singapore, the best way to get results here. And I thought that being in an American university has unchained those shackles of the 'traditional' method.

Bear in mind that I have absolutely nothing against our COM 125 lecturer; I think that he is passionate and sincerely cares for the education of his students. But it is just ironic, that someone who preaches all that jazz and is passionate reverts to the 'tried-and-tested' way of assessing his students competency. Not so much hypocritical but ironic. And making the exam ambiguous is not helping his cause much. Revision sessions? Nothing substantial comes out of those 'sessions'. It just struck me hard, that's all.

'Nuff said.

Just live.

I don't ask for much, and yet I don't seem to get it. I only need things that are built to last, that will go the distance, that will remain relatively unchanged through the seasons and that will stand the test of time. Simple, right? But usually, the simplest things are the hardest to find.

On the shallow, superficial end, I want clothes and watches and shoes that I can wear everyday, that will remain classic, unaffected by the vagaries of fashion. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

On a deeper note, I don't ask for much in relationships; I just need a few people who are there for me, through every season of life, whose relationship with me will only grow stronger with each passing day, with each experience shared, with each storm weathered. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

It's times like this that I ask myself, 'Why do I even bother? Why do I even care?' It's times like this that I think, 'I don't ask for much in life; and yet I don't seem to get it.' It's times like this when I feel, that I feel is something that I wished I could switch off. It's times like this when I feel, a lot of things but nothing inside. I don't ask for much, but I don't seem to get it.

Don't remember, and don't hope. That's the best favour you can do for yourself. Just, live... Live in the moment, for the moment.

Me and Mrs Jones

Smooth! Like buttery butter-like butter... ;D

I have changed.

I have changed. Not for the better, but for the worse. I have changed. I have to look good and hard at myself in the mirror, because I have changed to someone I can't recognize. I understand now, that I am human and I am fallible, and I have changed. Don't judge me, just try to accept me although I have changed. I make mistakes and I do people wrong, and I have changed. No more running away from the fact that I have changed.

Jai Ho!

This song is ultra catchy! And they do a move that I like to do! Hahaha. Jai Ho!