The Forever Loner

The Forever Loner stands at the corner of the street,
watching people going places, with faces to meet.
Bustling, bustling, they all pass him by,
who would care if he lives or if he dies?
The roads, streets and paths he must take alone,
the steps he takes are no one else's but his own.
His hands can only take hold onto air and nothing more,
no one to walk with him through gates, arches and doors.
The stars above his head drip light so cold,
nothing comes out of his heart but a dark, dark flow.
To the whole world he puts on a front, a facade,
close to his chest he holds and plays his cards.
The Forever Loner walks along the street,
watching people going places, with faces to meet.
Bustling, bustling they walk alongside and pass,
not caring if he is ashes, or if he is dust.

Moving on.

When your heart has been set free, it's a liberating kind of feeling. When you know that you know that you know that it is time to move on and that you are able to, it's time to celebrate. You know that moving on is not going to be easy but at the same time, you can't wait for what the future holds in store for you. You realise that somethings are just not meant to be. And it is not necessarily a bad thing. The stings will lessen in intensity with time and soon, it'll be but a distant memory. No more, this is it. I decide that it is over. Starting now.

Poor Honeybee

It's been a painful week for my dear Honeybee. Almost got into accidents twice this week. Got a dent in the rear bumper while backing into a parking space at school on Tuesday. It's not that my skills are lacking but the space was so tight!!! :( Scraped the bottom of the car while attempting a three point turn at Fort Canning carpark while trying to find Timbre on Thursday. And knocked my right side mirror out of whack and scratched the side of the right door at the carpark at Far East on Friday. When will the damage stop?!!??! :( Poor Honeybee. Looking worse for wear right now. Battle scarred.

Sick

It stinks to be sick, especially close to the weekend. Had a throat infection and ran a fever on Wednesday night so had to miss school on Thursday. Wonder if anyone missed me? :P Even right now, my throat is still sore and I am still feeling weak. Being sick means being unable to eat properly and exercise so I feel that I have become fat(ter) and weak(er) in just 3 days. Well, treating this as a break and looking forward to going full force next week. Hope that there will be enough time next week though. So many things to do whenever it draws close to the end of a semester. :(

Deep things vs. simple things

So, Feli, Will and I had a deep, deep talk about life at lunch. Actually, mostly, they talked and I listened. And I realised that we are quite different in that aspect. They like to think about the deep things in life, like how the world is formed and all that. I, on the other hand, don't like to think about these kind of things. I admit that there are things out there that are beyond our comprehension. And it is also true that if we accept things as they are and not think further that what we are comfortable with, there will be no progress. But like what Feli said, it comes to a point where you just hit a brick wall.
How I see things is like this; I prefer to keep things simple. I am not a deep thinker and sometimes, deep thinking scares me. And I admit that I am no great thinker as well. But when you face the unknown, and perhaps the never-to-be-known, where do you go from there? To me, that's where faith, belief in something, comes in. True, our faith may be flawed as we are flawed. But to me, without faith, life is scary. Without faith, everything seems meaningless. There is no point in doing anything at all.
To each his own. Will said something that really struck a cord. He said in view of the entire universe, which by the way is expanding at the speed of light, we are so small and insignificant. Perhaps the things that we do have no effect on the grand scheme of things. But I beg to differ. The butterfly effect. It may be unproven but it brings up an interesting concept. A flap of a butterfly's wings may cause a typhoon somewhere else. I believe that we can and are making a difference in the world with the things that we do. Well, it may be just me but somehow, life seems easier to live this way.
My thinking may be simple minded but I am not simplistic. Many a times, I do question my faith and all but somehow, I feel that life would be unimaginable for me to live without faith. Somethings are too deep for our limited minds and it is just easier for me to accept that I don't know and may never know in my lifetime and trust. Even at the end, if there is really nothing but oblivion, I still feel that my life is better lived this way. Someday we'll know, we'll all know. But for now, I want to keep my life simple and just believe.

Feminism

Just had a thought provoking lesson today in COM 337. We learnt about feminist theories and it is always interesting to see how people react. There wasn't much interaction in class though. But here's my (boring) take on this. I am not a chauvinist. But at the same time, I do not believe in equality of sexes. Let me explain. By no equality I mean, there are some things that men can do that women can't and vice versa. For example, women are not as physically strong as men in general, although I have seen tough, tough women beat up tough, tough men (check out Discovery Channel's Fight Quest) and men can't give birth to children. But this doesn't not discount anything from either sex. It's not who's better but rather it's about just being different. It's like a jig saw puzzle; if all pieces are the same, how is the puzzle going to be pieced together? I believe that men and women are different so as to form a larger whole.
Also, I feel that if you want equality, you can't expect any special treatment. This applies to everyone but from my limited perspective, I can only comment on some girls who claim to be feminists. They want equal rights but demand that people hold doors open for them, to carry heavy things for them. They demand equal rights but not equal treatment. Anything that they feel that is not right, they shout feminism. But think about it; there are inherent differences between the sexes and with these differences come about different treatments. Men are tougher physically and therefore it is compulsory to go for National Service in Singapore. Women can choose to serve in the military but men have no choice. Is this equal treatment? No. But I don't think there is anything wrong.
From a guy's point of view, I feel that mistaken 'feminists' who don't understand what they are fighting for are the real obstacle to female rights. I respect people who stand up for what they believe in but these so called feminists are just using the cover of feminism to justify some things that they do. The law in Singapore protects the female from sexual harassment. Would anybody, guy or girl like that to change? Equal rights to me means that guys are innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. Like what I said, things like these issues are just born out of inherent differences. The point is, you can't expect equality when there are inherent differences!
This is just my point of view. I treat my female friends differently from my male friends; I don't play punching games with my female friends like I do with my male friends. ;D Come on, just admit it. There are things that you don't do to a girl and there are things that you don't do to a guy. Why? Inherent differences! I don't think that guys are better than girls or vice versa. I just feel that we are different, and it's all good.

Overwhelmed

You know the feeling, when you are so overwhelmed with work and the prospect of the upcoming week of work that you don't even know where to start? And you end up just running around helter skelter and not doing anything? Well, right now, that's the story of my life. So many things to do that I don't even know where to begin. Oh well, one step at a time I guess. Going to be a tough week ahead. :(